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gordonzolaWe got a delivery at my workplace for Blowfish today. I saw it in the back as I put something out for a UPS pickup. It said, in our receiver's handwriting, "delivered to wrong address". When I saw who it was for, I called over two other pervy co-workers who happened to be walking by.
"Oops, my box knife is accidentally cutting the packing tape," I said.
What would it be? The anticipation was killing us as we all tried to get the first glimpse beyond the styro peanuts. Would it be a case of dildos? A box of condoms and gloves? Bad, big-haired porn? One of those scary butt toys bigger than my leg? Bulk lube?* I lifted the invoice out. . .
The box contained one case of "massage oil". Yep, the lamest possible thing to buy from a sex toy distro with the possible exception of a "tickling" feather.
I sealed the box back up and returned it to the UPS pile.
* To their credit, I believe bulk lube is available at the Olympia Food Co-op. Though I'd hate to have to be the cashier who has to touch the recycled containers.
"Oops, my box knife is accidentally cutting the packing tape," I said.
What would it be? The anticipation was killing us as we all tried to get the first glimpse beyond the styro peanuts. Would it be a case of dildos? A box of condoms and gloves? Bad, big-haired porn? One of those scary butt toys bigger than my leg? Bulk lube?* I lifted the invoice out. . .
The box contained one case of "massage oil". Yep, the lamest possible thing to buy from a sex toy distro with the possible exception of a "tickling" feather.
I sealed the box back up and returned it to the UPS pile.
* To their credit, I believe bulk lube is available at the Olympia Food Co-op. Though I'd hate to have to be the cashier who has to touch the recycled containers.
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Date: 2003-06-19 11:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 09:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 10:35 am (UTC)OH GOD, WE'RE S.F. YUPPIES!!!!!
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Date: 2003-06-20 10:39 am (UTC);)
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Date: 2003-06-20 10:56 am (UTC)nice save, man!
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Date: 2003-06-20 10:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 11:00 am (UTC)perfect.
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Date: 2003-06-20 10:58 am (UTC)(But I had the same sushi assumption, too.)
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Date: 2003-06-20 11:00 am (UTC)Or maybe the supply room full of dildoes and lube downstairs has made shopping for such things unnecessary and way less fun!
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Date: 2003-06-20 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 06:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 06:24 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-22 11:35 am (UTC)Not in the cheese department, I hope.
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Date: 2003-06-22 01:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 07:46 am (UTC)i have no idea why they would mis-ship that to you. i think the mail boy needs to be flogged. this is not an empty threat.
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Date: 2003-06-20 06:20 pm (UTC)as for the rest, wow. don't fetishize the handwriting though, it's not mine.
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Date: 2003-06-21 02:24 pm (UTC)by the time the box actually reaches me, all of your cooties will have worn off of it. can i bring the box back to rainbow and rub it in your armpits? gordon cooties are really a big part of my whole sneaking off into the back room and licking the packing tape scene.
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Date: 2003-06-22 03:18 pm (UTC)Maybe I'll pack you a special box full of used cheese aprons, tape it up, and deliver it to you personally.
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Date: 2003-06-22 09:51 pm (UTC)speaking of which, i'd be willing to pay big money for pictures of you wearing nothing but a cheese apron. or, we could barter. i know how you commie co-op types dig that. plus, there are few things sweeter in life than bartering for smut.
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Date: 2003-06-20 07:59 am (UTC)and this:
One of those scary butt toys bigger than my leg?
ha! ha ha ha ha haaaa....
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Date: 2003-06-21 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 08:29 am (UTC)i think when we moved out, whoever was helping us really liked it, so we told him he could have it, though i'm really not certain of its fate.
we mostly didn't look at it or even notice it whenever we were on the porch (which was a lot) because we'd gotten so used to it being part of the scenery.
(okay. all of these sentences - and their structures - are fucked up. hopefully my head will clarify as my day moves on).
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Date: 2003-06-20 08:09 am (UTC)hi, you are totally me. i would have done the same exact thing.
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Date: 2003-06-20 06:10 pm (UTC)and welcome back! you haven't commented in so long. . .
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Date: 2003-06-22 01:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 08:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 10:55 am (UTC)My thoughts exactly.
To their credit, I believe bulk lube is available at the Olympia Food Co-op. Though I'd hate to have to be the cashier who has to touch the recycled containers.
Remind me never to get a job at the Olympia Food Co-op.
Well-lubed shirtless hippie dudes... ew!!!
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Date: 2003-06-20 11:37 am (UTC)Then I'm gonna use that tickle feather on you.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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Date: 2003-06-20 06:16 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-21 07:55 am (UTC)xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxox
bulk lube is just WRONG
Date: 2003-06-20 05:15 pm (UTC)Re: bulk lube is just WRONG
Date: 2003-06-20 06:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 10:11 pm (UTC)