gordonzola

First, I would like to apply for a job at Crumb. If they're hiring.

Second:

The Welfare Office

All patrons will fill out a fun survey when they arrive. Questions would include:

How many babies without fathers do you have?

Please list any/all mental illnesses.

Do you suffer from PTSD related to serving in an American war in the past 50 years?

etc.

Based on their answers the custies will get a certain number of food stamps to "buy" their dinner.

"Yes, I'd like to start with the government cheese plate...."

There could also be "theme" nights like Spanish Speaking Thursdays - everyone pretending to be illegally in the country gets a discounted Margaritta.

And of course, a WIC room for the kids.