Fast? It was there at least two years! But Gordonzola's story isn't exactly clear: Giladon went out of business (or into bigger business, from what I heard) and then Moptops moved in with their Union Jacks (which I found the most offensive, and they should be glad I'd moved out by then for the sake of their plate glass windows).

We had a great idea for driving Giladon out, though. Once when we finished cleaning a fish, we put the head in a jar of canola oil and put it on the roof. The idea was to create huile des poissons mortes (i.e., Stick-U-Out-Fast) and go trail some into their wood surfaces. Who wants to eat raw fish when you can smell that?

But then the landlord found the makeshift ladder we'd nailed into the wall to give us access (for which Sarah Jacobs was very grateful, but that's another story) and tore it out. The jar may be, for all I know, still in waiting nine years later.