we borrowed someone’s motorboat, drove close to shore, and mortared tourists with water balloons from a funnelator

OMG, that's fucking awesome! I'm pretty sure that shit would get you deported to Guantanamo today, though.

So I was wondering, and maybe you know. When these drunk-ass sailors come streaming through the streets in uniform, is that because they are required to, or they don't have any other clothes, or because the chicks dig it? Cause I'd assume they'd want to wear normal clothes on their night off...

Also, when they're barely propped up against a wall slurring "hey baby" to each and every woman who walks by, does that trick ever work?