San Francisco A-Z (Part 1)

[gordonzola]

I'm compiling a list of things that I love about San Francisco. I decided not to wait until I finished because I could put it off forever trying to find a "Z" or something. When I'm done, maybe I'll compile it into a zine and give it to the Chamber of Commerce to distribute.

Enjoy:

A –- Angela "The Heart of San Francisco" Alioto My favorite politician ever. Daughter of an ex-mayor and absolutely nuts. Years ago at the Jewish Democratic Club endorsement meeting Roberta Achtenberg stood up and said, "As a Jew blah blah blah …" Angela stood up and interrupted with, "Well, I look Jewish!". In the last Mayoral election she stood up a press conference called to announce her endorsement of Gonzalez. Newsom thought he’d scored a coup, but when she endorsed him the next day she said it was because he’d promised her she would be Vice Mayor and Gonzalez wouldn’t which is technically illegal. Then, as the Newsom campaign was trying to fluff over his SF aristocratic background with stories of his single mother working two jobs, she announced that she’d be in charge of homeless issues for Mayor Newsom. "He’s Cash , I’m Care".

H -- Hunt’s Donuts. I lived across from the Hunt’s at 20th and Mission for two years. They had the best donuts in the world, especially if you hit them half drunk around midnight. Since they were "open 25 hours" this was usually no problem. They used to have plastic garbage cans filled with lard and you could watch them make the donuts through the window. If you didn’t mind being asked if you wanted to buy car batteries, stereos, or drugs while you watched.

Once an important, bustling, and crowded resource for San Francisco’s crime community,* they have fallen far in recent years. There was only one person inside the last time I went. She was reading a book about consumerism and looked like a New College student. It’s really sad. They don’t even make the donuts there anymore. And the jellys are not filled, but cut in half and spread with jelly. In fact, someone just told me that they got busted for stealing donuts from elsewhere and re-selling them a few years ago. Sad, sad, sad.

*I may have stolen that from Iggy Scam. I’m really not sure.

S -- Super Secret Sundial Where the hell is that thing, Ingelside? Heading towards the ocean you take a left on Ocean when you see the big church that looks like a mall. Then find your way to the middle of the circular streets. It’s a big fucking sundial in a cul-de-sac. I heard that it was once part of a race track that is no longer there. Being smack in the middle of the fog zone, I have visited it over ten times and only seen kinda vague readings. How do sundials adjust for daylight savings anyway?

Comments

[rhiannonstone.livejournal.com]

You make me homesick for SF. :/

[rhiannonstone.livejournal.com]

Incidentally, almost everything I can think of that would be in my best-of-SF alphabet is food-related...

C - Chez Panisse (I know, I know, not really San Francisco)

H - House of Nan King

M - Maya OR Metro Hotel

R - Red's Java House

You get the picture. :)

[slutbunwalla.livejournal.com]

I've heard tell of a block long slide in Bernal Heights... Has anyone every seen it? Or is it a myth?

[poindexter]

I just did a google search for "block long slide in Bernal Heights" and this was the first link:

http://offbeat.8m.net/Bernal.html

[beer-retard.livejournal.com]

I live near there and while the slide is pretty cool, it's not really a block long. Also, if you're wearing jeans or other non-slidey pants, I suggest bringing a piece of cardboard or something so you'll go faster.

If you keep going up after you hit the slide, the top of the Bernal hill is a cool place too. The views up there are almost as good as Tank Hill and it's not as cold and foggy.

[jette.livejournal.com]

I've totally slidden on that slide!

[anarqueso.livejournal.com]

You forgot to mention the neon at Hunt's.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

See what happens when I try to post quickly before coming to work. I will add something about the donut ascending to heaven from the cup of coffee later. definitely before I send it to the Chamber of Commerce.

[poindexter]

Ever think about:

B - Bill's place, some of the weirdest burgers in the city, and real ice cream milkshakes. There used to be 4 or 5 of them in the 80s, now there's just the one on Clement and 25th.

C - Carousel Restaurant on Sloat - the last vestige of doggie dinerdom in the city

H - Harrington's, that used furniture store on 17th and Valencia.

L - La Rondalla, a fixture in the Mission district, great atmosphere, always a free table somewhere, roaming mariachis.

M - Muddy's, Muddy Waters coffee houses. I always ended up failing to meet people by going to the wrong one.

Sam Wo - MSG-laden chow fun at 3am, friendly waiters once you tip heavily. :)

Z - Zims. May they Rest In Peace

[felicks.livejournal.com]

Oh Zims. I think the closing of Zims was The Moment when SF went downhill

[amarama.livejournal.com]

I vote against Harrington's. That place is INSANELY overpriced. Alemany Flea market all the way for the cheap furniture.

[jactitation.livejournal.com]

Given that he and I both had Harrington's fuckwad owner, Jarleth O'Connor, as our psycho landlord for two years, I doubt that's gonna be the "H". Fuck, black tar HEROIN's made a more favorable impression on us both.

Scumbag that he was, he used to hire men from his home county to do his "moving" (one source of Harrington's cheaper furniture: demanding an additional payment after putting items in the truck and not letting them go until it was forked over) and then refuse to pay them what he'd promised, instead offering them a share in one of the rooms in the back of the buildings he owned. This led to its own fun, like the one overheard exchange on Sunday morning.

Jarleth (6'4', stocky, red-faced and bellowing): Séan! Séan! I know you're in there, Séan! You owe me a month's rent! Come out and face me like a man, Séan! Come out of there! Come out and come down here, Séan! You'd better come on down, Séan! (etc.)

Finally, after maybe half an hour of this, Séan leans out his window.

Séan: Jarleth, I'm not coming down until you drop the lead pipe.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I love Bill's! Zim's and Sam Wo's hold some very fond high school memories for me as well. Doggie Diner Head was definitely going to be "D". Carousel, not so much.

as for Harrington's, I think Jactitation covered that very well.

[spoonfeeding.livejournal.com]

oh, man, zim's. the market and van ness zim's, especially. that enormous surreal apple pie a la mode that looked like the culmination of every sugary wet dream, but tasted pretty bland. that wonderful burnt coffee at 3 am. the smoke and brown and orange decor.

oh, man, i miss zim's.

[purejuice.livejournal.com]

one of the things i like best about san francisco is you all. don't stop. i love this.

[walktheplank.livejournal.com]

This is one of your best LJ topics in a long time. But you're missing the other 23 letters in the alphabet! -Get back to work!!! :)


They used to have plastic garbage cans filled with lard and you could watch them make the donuts through the window.

God, what a disgusting mental image! Yet sort of fascinating. Kind of like the giant cattle carcasses that used to hang in the window at Fuddrucker's Hamburgers. -Whole cattle hanging on meathooks being butchered right before your eyes! It was supposed to make the burgers seem extra "fresh". (They covered-up the window in the wake of mad cow disease...)

[jette.livejournal.com]

<3

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

good choice of icon!

[magpiesf.livejournal.com]

sooper sekrit sundial is in the center of urbano drive, if i remember correctly. south of ocean, east of junipero serra.

i say M should be moscow and tbilisi russian bakery, geary and 20th. biggest $1.25 piroshki in the city.

there was something else i was gonna suggest, but i forget what it was.

[magpiesf.livejournal.com]

oh yeah, and yes - used to be part of a racetrack.

maybe W should be for wave organ, predictable as it may be. when conditions are off, its just a nice place to sit, but when theyre right, its super cool.

[superchones.livejournal.com]

M is Mitchell's! There's nothing better on a cold night than hopping over to grab a chocolate dipped double scoop of pumpkin ice cream.

So what's with this young non-strung out person chilling in Hunt's?! (Which by the way, I have always just called the 25 hour donut shop) I mean, that makes no sense. I am hoping that you are exaggerated highly and that it was just a high school student doing econ homework while her uncle slang (or is it slung?) some black tar goodies outside.

[amarama.livejournal.com]

Mitchell's seconded, absolutely.

[trick.livejournal.com]

P=Penny arcade.

Yay old-fashioned, fifteen second nudie flicks and nonsensical fortune cards!

[amarama.livejournal.com]

I just realized that I have what I think is a serious contender for "L" (or "R", depending on what you need): Larry Bob of Holytitclamps. That guy should get a prize for being so highly motivated. And for being a freaky, dorky fag in a town full of gym queens.

[spoonfeeding.livejournal.com]

c- camera obscura (or alternately, musee mechanique)

Secret sundial exposed!

[(Anonymous)]

All you wanted to know about the super secret sundial: http://www.outsidelands.org/sundial.html
(The executive summary: publicity stunt for housing development, ca. 1913)

And its location: http://tinyurl.com/3bcrj (It's smack dab in the middle of the map, in the Entrada Court turn-around)

I visited the sundial today, in your honor. Even taking into account daylight savings time (or lack thereof?) , the sundial is half an hour slow. Proof of ultimate energy death of universe?

Re: Secret sundial exposed!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

thanks! but why so anonymous, mysterious stranger?