Valencia Street terror alert

[gordonzola]

I was walking down Valencia St. on Sunday. A man got out of his SUV and power walked down the street in front of me. He had a tight office-plaid shirt on, definitely not cowboy-plaid or retro-grunge-plaid shirt. It was buttoned to the top despite the rare, hot San Francisco day. I remember it was hot because I was going to a housewarming party where I wouldn’t know anyone and I was self-conscious about my own sweat stains. The fact that he drove an SUV has nothing to do with this anecdote.

He stopped for the red light at the corner in front of the pet food hair salon. He looked hurried and uncomfortable. He didn’t like waiting for the green but he didn’t seem torn by his wait, just annoyed. I know I don’t really know what he was thinking. But he didn’t tap his fingers on his belt or swivel his head seeing if the other light was yellow yet. No cars were coming.

A bike messenger dude approached the light. He didn’t have a bike, but his clothes were faded and worn like a messenger, not a hipster. And he had a Zo bag. He had to push past Mr. Plaid ever so slightly to jaywalk and as he did he gave him some advice.

"If you stop for red lights, the terrorists have already won."

Now, here’s the question: are we tired of this punch line yet?

Comments

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Well, you know. It all depends upon whether they're delaying the election while he's stopping for that red light.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

ha! good point.

[bigfatmama.livejournal.com]

not when it is used that well! that's funny. i used to live at 24th and Valencia.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

when did you live in SF?

Because it had to be done

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

If you get tired of the punch line, the terrorists have already won.

Re: Because it had to be done

[flipping-hades.livejournal.com]

I was actually thinking more along the lines of if you get tired of the punchline, the administration has already won...

That's just fine

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

For a lot of people, terrorism is just a question of point of view.

Re: Because it had to be done

[chubbycore.livejournal.com]

buahahahaa.

Re: Because it had to be done

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

if it had to be done, I'm glad it was you.

[flipping-hades.livejournal.com]

In a way I'm very definitely tired of that punchline, but I don't want it to die just yet. And since jaywalking is one of the official sports of my hometown, that one was pretty good.

Sidebar: I saw a hipster wearing a Zo bag while disembarking from the Caltrain bicycle car last week. I nearly cried. Not only that, but he did what most hipster bicycle commuters I see do -- put in the earbuds for his iPod, lit up a cigarette, and bicycled off with neither helmet nor awareness.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

awww c'mon, the cigarette is a persaonl touch.

[flipping-hades.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but on a bicycle? I just can't figure out what it could mean -- "Fuck you, bicycle fitness advocates?" Or maybe it's being defensive, sort of a "Seeeee!? I smoke, yet still I can do aerobic exercise"?

Or maybe it's just sort of "I move, yet still I lounge". I kinda like that one.

Still -- I used to smoke, and there's no way I could outrun a reckless MUNI bus on bike when I did, something which is a valuable survival skill now.

[bebopmonkey.livejournal.com]

ahahahah. thats hilarious.
You have to realize that there's an "Event Horizon" (i think thats the term) with jokes like this. First they're funny, then they start to get old. But then, as the probability of actual good jokes being made approaches zero, suddenly it becomes funny again.

[flipping-hades.livejournal.com]

Word!

In that case, Garrison Keilor's penguin/tuxedo joke is most definitely a full-fledged singularity!

So, two penguins are sitting on an ice floe...

that one im not so sure of...

[bebopmonkey.livejournal.com]

I think that after a certain point, funny-math breaks down.

Re: that one im not so sure of...

[flipping-hades.livejournal.com]

OK, maybe it's just me then...

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I do it for the faster servers. heh heh heh.

[grapesoda.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...ya know, I feel the same way about people always pointing out mullets. (yah yah I know, a mullet, what a geek!, ha ha...)

[spoonfeeding.livejournal.com]

omg yes, can we stop pointing out mullets now, people? Also, when did it become funny to potnt out obese people? I feel like I wandered back into 3rd grade.

(but I do think the terrorists have won thing is still funny)

[fightingwords.livejournal.com]

aww, my corner....

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I mentiond the location just for you.

this all depends...

[hammerhead.livejournal.com]

Are we the terrorists? Have we won?

Re: this all depends...

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

it gets so confusing, doesn't it?

[weebleeds.livejournal.com]

fucking brilliant.

Tired

[torgo-x.livejournal.com]

In Los Angeles, these problems never arise because No Inglés Señor.

It's very liberating living in an alingual city.