gordonzola | Intervention with the Hug Rapist

It had gone too far. We knew we had to stop it . If we were serious about changing society and we were, being good co-op members and all, we had to take a stand. If we didn’t, what hope would there be for the future we wanted to build?

Billy was known as the Hug Rapist. He’d come upon an unsuspected person quickly, embracing them before they could put up and defense. His hugs were a little too affectionate. He held a little too tightly and too long. Sometimes there was a little rubbing. As is often the case with this kind of crime, his victims weren’t fully aware of his pattern until chance brought together a large group at one time.

Well, not chance really. His hug hunting ground was the worker coop movement. Actually, it was probably everyone he came in contact with, but because he was in a coop we presented a bounty of hug-ready riches. The Hug Rapist was doomed to be noticed if only because we’re not that large a community and sooner or later we were going to talk amongst ourselves.

Individually, we all started watching Billy a little more closely after a night of smuggled beer drinking during the coop conference at the hippie hot springs. Male problems with boundaries were on most people’s minds after a man (non-coop member, thankfully) was found masturbating by some comrades in the steamy fog of the sauna. The camp was closed for our conference so he had hiked in a long way to fulfill his coop-women fetish.

Billy’s name came up that night and everyone admitted to being a little skeeved out by his powerful hugs. But for almost everyone it was just a little skeeved. We tend to be Californians and huggers by nature so at first everyone was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. The few non-huggers among us, however, noted the surprise attack nature of his hugs which left them inadequate time to prepare a handshake barrier. This was definitely a violation of hug etiquette. If they had quick reflexes, they managed a speedy shoulder turn so it wasn’t full-frontal, but they still felt violated.

Some people, ones who’d known him longer actually said they’d tried to tell him that not everyone wanted to be touched, that he should ask before hugging, especially someone he didn’t know well. His behavior hadn’t changed though. It had fallen on deaf ears and outstretched arms. By the end of the evening it was still all drunk-talk on our parts though. We drifted off to our respective cabins and went to sleep thinking of hot springs, utopian coops, and worker paradises.

It was inevitable though that we would notice the next morning at breakfast when Billy "welcomed" a woman before she could reach for a food tray. She looked uncomfortable as he wrapped his loving arms around her. She forced a smile. A second or two later she began looking around for help. Billy’s highly evolved sense of grope-timing kicked in and he let go, effused about seeing her and moved on to find other targets, having gotten what he came for. I shared meaningful looks with others. We needed a plan of action.

We hastily formed a committee. The committee formed a plan. Unlikely as it seems, we used our coop skills to move quickly and decisively.

One man volunteered to be hug bait. We knew Billy would be heading for the hot tubs after lunch. Hug Bait was stationed on a secluded part of the path. The hot springs steamed up into the crisp fall day. The river twisted and turned like it always does. Finally Billy came into view. Hug Bait said Hello and held his arms out. Billy moved in for the kill. Hug Bait reciprocated. Just then the woman designated as Negative Hug Reinforcement came out from behind the trees and behind Billy.

Billy heard something and squirmed but couldn’t move. Hug Bait held on tight. NHR reached down and grabbed his balls. This was easily done because he was wearing skimpy shorts despite the crisp weather.. Tightening her grip slightly, she whispered in his ear, "Some people don’t like to be touched. You can understand that, can’t you?"

Billy whimpered "Yes". A short but meaningful squeeze later NHR was gone. Hug Bait held Billy for a moment as NHR made her getaway. Billy didn’t struggle. Finally, as he was released, he said, "Really?"

"Really," said Hug Bait.

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