Survey says ...

[gordonzola]

Oh my god. I love polls. And what value for my effort! I put a fraction of the amount of time and energy as one of my real entries and I get deluged with response. This just feeds my inner comment whore. Stop me before I poll again.

While it is clear that I need a grant for a grad student to crunch numbers for me, I feel I can make some limited observations base on the data I have received. Here we go:

1. Many of you with LJs who responded don’t have me on your "friends" list. This is fine, just surprising. Say hi if you want.

2. Boy, the sex workers don’t mind getting lumped in with the cheese workers. The "artsy motherfuckers" don’t mind getting included with the writers and performers. The punks and the ex-punks can get along. But the poly folks sure are sensitive about being linked with the sluts even if it’s clear you didn’t have to self-identify as both at the same time.

Maybe it deserves a longer entry, but it does follow my experience how-one-sleeps-around identity battles. Generally (and yes, there’s plenty of room for exceptions), the Poly People* think of the non-monogamous folks as a bunch of (sometimes) updated ‘70s swingers with no morals. The n/m folks think of the polys as people with who you have to negotiate with for two months and meet five significant others before you get any action. Whichever is cool. But I forget that "slutty" can still be an un-ironic insult to some. I’m sorry if it offended people, but I don’t think we should let the S-word divide us. Unity people! Unity!

3. My "friends" list started as nearly 100% zinesters now it’s only 16%. Is this what the internet does to us?

4. Over a third of you are punks/ex-punks and over a third are computer geeks. I would actually have to crunch the numbers to see how many are both. Where’s my intern?

5. 40% of you have met me but only 15% have bought cheese from me. Interesting… I’ll have to start keeping better notes.

6. Almost 42% of you live in the Bay Area. Crazy humid summer weather** this year, eh? And what the fuck is up with the mosquitoes? If I wanted mosquitoes I’d move in with dcart in Florida.

7. Nearly 60% of you are some kind of artsy. Obviously this category needs more definition. I wouldn’t have checked that box, personally.

8. I forgot to make the answers only visible to me. Sorry if that messed anyone up though I don’t know if it would. Just saying.

9. I didn’t realize how many of you are students/teachers etc. I guess I need to pay more attention, huh?

10. I’m not sure if the Pink and Fluffy movement is taking off but it looks good so far. I’m not yet convinced pink is my color or fluffy is my texture.

Your observations? …



*I can’t write that without hearing the beginning of "Planet Rock". "Poly people … Poly People … yo yo get funky …Soulsonic Force yo yo get funky …. Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaah."
**not to be confused with humid weather elsewhere in the world. But still noticeably different than the past, imho.

Comments

[wild-irises.livejournal.com]

Maybe it deserves a longer entry, but it does follow my experience how-one-sleeps-around identity battles. Generally (and yes, there’s plenty of room for exceptions), the Poly People* think of the non-monogamous folks as a bunch of (sometimes) updated ‘70s swingers with no morals. ... But I forget that "slutty" can still be an un-ironic insult to some. I’m sorry if it offended people, but I don’t think we should let the S-word divide us.

I'm a Genuine Certified Member of the Poly Community (TM), and I have never had any patience with the way so many polyfolk look down on swingers, let alone "sluts." Go you for lumping the groups together, and I'm sorry you got flamed.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

glad you approve!

though, for the record, I didn't feel flamed, just disagreed with.

[jenlight.livejournal.com]

I got to the table late

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

well, it's a little cold, but there's plenty to eat.

[rockettqween.livejournal.com]

Sluts rule.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

whoo-hoo!

[reveritas.livejournal.com]

what the fuck is up with the mosquitos is that this year is west fucking nile year, and those of us who worry about such things can't catch a fucking break.

am i cranky? do i sound cranky? it's because there was a mosquito buzzing around my ear last night while i was trying to sleep. i like this summer weather but after about four days of it i am ready for someone to bring the fog.

[flipping-hades.livejournal.com]

Word. Did West Nile cause the mosquitoes to mutate or something? Because there's one the size of a fucking hummingbird that's been waking me up at 4AM every night this week. In the morning I see it buzzing lazily around the room, drunk on my blood, taunting me. It leaves a big smear. They're bigger than any mosquitoes I've ever seen before (and I've seen a lot -- I am abrosia for the little bastards).

[surlygrrrl.livejournal.com]

i was always quite comfortable with my sluttiness. i reclaimed the fuck out of that word! literally.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

heh heh heh

[epilady.livejournal.com]

I think the rest of your poll was merely a decoy so's you could find out how many people would be pink and fluffy at Folsom and make corresponding wardrobe choices that day.

[chitinous.livejournal.com]

G deeply wants to be my Barbie head for the weekend, but is having trouble accepting his inner Pink And Fluffy.

[vestalvixen.livejournal.com]

I'm not a slut. I just like money and sex.

[postmaudlin.livejournal.com]

it's okay. i think most of us are pro-prostitution here, as well. ;)

[gwenzilla.livejournal.com]

I just did it and was a little hurt briefly because it looked like I was the only person in the Bay Area who hasn't met you, but then I figured there's a slight chance you may have met people who don't live in the Bay Area. Or maybe you're just avoiding me.

[reveritas.livejournal.com]

you're not the only person who lives in the bay area who hasn't met him :)

[sanmiguelmalo.livejournal.com]

AUGH. there's a mosquito problem in the bay? the one fucking thing i did not miss and there's an actual tangible problem with it now that i'm visiting? ::shakes fist::

[twoeggbreakfast.livejournal.com]

slutty, poly, non-monogamous born-again virgin. i wouldn't dare flame you.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

born again virgin? do you think you'll stay true 'til marriage this time?

[amarama.livejournal.com]

I almost want to do this anonymously, because I may get killed, but I've always likened the fervor of poly identity to the fervor of bicyclist identity.

And it's too hot out. I'm not into it. I don't have mosquitoes, but I have flies.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

yes too hot...too hot.

wait til the poly critical (m)ass! that'll be a protest not to miss.

[odelenu.livejournal.com]

wow, the company next door are playing the same music that you are listening too. We share air space, so we basically listen to the same music.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

it's ok. actually that music was just in my head.

[purplecorduroy.livejournal.com]

This pink and fluffy thing is fueling my desire to make this (http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEsummer04/PATTsheerly.html), a desire which I find deeply disturbing.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

disturbing, yes. but I'm just the messenger.

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

Remind me to tell you of the year of the Black Mosquitos of Death in the Lower Haight.

I'm one of those exceptions, btw, when it comes to poly/nonmonogamous/slut. Whatever works.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

tell me about the year of the Black Mosquitos of Death in the Lower Haight!

[nihilistic-kid.livejournal.com]

Humidity? HA! Mosquitos? PFFFT! You know nothing, nothing! Last summer, I was 100 yards from a swamp in the middle of Jersey City! Go ask kest about humidity and mosquitos!

Also, I would like a separate slutty list. For my own purposes.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

**not to be confused with humid weather elsewhere in the world. But still noticeably different than the past, imho.

[spoonfeeding.livejournal.com]

I'm so madly in love with the LJ polyamory community. It's comprised of people in polyamorous relationships posting about their problems, all of which could pretty much be fixed by, you know, NOT BEING POLYAMOROUS, but instead they get nonstop variations on the comment, "this isn't a problem just of a polyamorous relationship- this is a problem of a HUMAN relationship. All relationships worry about this."

Really? All relationships have the problem of what to do with my evening while my husband is out embracing the waitress's inner goddess?
"I just severed my tendon in an accident, and I fear I won't be able to walk well again!"
"We all have that fear. That's a HUMAN fear. I have that fear while watching TV."

Another great comment in the community is "Hey, I just noticed most of us love cats!" Other comments that surely will/have been made: "Hey, I just noticed almost all of us play D&D!" "Wow, I just realized most of us are obese!"

Ok, I should delete this. You know, you can't make fun of a group that doesn't take itself so seriously. Like, I can't make fun of sluts or whores (unless they're humorless sex activists), but you start plugging your vagina into some overreaching philosophy, and sneer at "normals" who aren't eveolved enough to have 5 partners and fight down their jealousy issues, and you sort of beg for mockery. If they could just sit back and be like "yeah, we like to fuck around," I'd like them a lot more.

::cringes waiting for deluge of polyhate::

No polyhate here

[nosrialleon.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

tmi alert.

[trishylicious.livejournal.com]

haha! I once led a somewhat slutty existence, but i was never intentionally poly. It worked out that being slutty, I dated several people at once, but only because I didn't like any of them enough to commit (and vice versa). Funny the polys are angry about people thinking they're slutty!!!

For fuck's sake, take a good look at yourself

[anarqueso.livejournal.com]

You're a good writer. Why are you using weakass internetisms like "imho"?

Re: For fuck's sake, take a good look at yourself

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

because I'm mailing it in this week, haven't you noticed? maybe i should get an intern to write entries when i don't have the time. It would be like Dear Abby before she croaked.

[maeve66.livejournal.com]

DAMN... dare I dive into the flames? I guess I'm poly. I'm certainly slutty in that oh-so-prized ethical way. I don't swing but I don't bind them in some off-over-there separate CATEGORY, for fuck's sake. But I cannot read the LJ Polyamory Community, pretty much for the reasons cited -- not that I think all problems would be solved by monogamy... you'd just have different problems to whine about, I think, if, that is, you inclined to whining.

I'm more interested in the preponderance of teachers, since I'm that, too -- and the funniest intersection I've had between these two topics is that at a sex party this Spring, I found myself foregathered (attracted to each other like iron filings) with TWO OTHER TEACHERS, doing "teacher talk" in that obsessive way we have. Let me remind you, at a sex party. The magic word which united us all was me hearing one of the other two say "Algebra." Not that I have ANY brief for algebra... just that for what other reason would one hear that word, except that a teacher has uttered it? We spent some time trying to decide which would be worse: if one of our respective principals showed up, or if a student showed up. It was a tough question.

I wish I shopped in San Francisco so I could have the pleasure of buying cheese from you, dude. Do you recommend anywhere in the East Bay? Like the Country Cheese Shop, for example? Or not?

Salut, maeve66

PS

[maeve66.livejournal.com]

Oh... and I commented on wanting to friend you in a slightly earlier entry, maybe the one before this. The one where you write about places that are worthwhile in the Bay Area and in other regions/locales in these United States. A cheese customer of yours as well as a fellow keen appreciator of sectarian silliness, rootlesscosmo, told me I should jump on your bandwagon posthaste, so I have. He's clearly right.

Salut, maeve66

[fattest.livejournal.com]

Damn, I'm sorry I missed the poll.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

hey, go back and take it. others still are.

[trixiefirecat.livejournal.com]

can i even guess if i was a contributor to this revelation? i do love the polling!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

that entry was so full of revelations that I'm afraid you'll need to be more specific.

[kest]

Have nothing against slutty people. Don't even have a problem with sharing a checkbox with them. But understand the issue, as the *other* people, who get confused that they are not all the same thing, can be a bit of a problem.

I also think that visible answers are one of the best byproducts of this kind of poll. Now I have a ready reference point for who knows who how, in the strange small world of LJ.

[elusis.livejournal.com]

the Poly People* think of the non-monogamous folks as a bunch of (sometimes) updated ‘70s swingers with no morals. The n/m folks think of the polys as people with who you have to negotiate with for two months and meet five significant others before you get any action.

Wow, I think you may have just identified the core of the problem I've had for months with one of my lovers. I don't identify as either (I ticked the box in solidarity with "slutty" since I think sleeping with three girls and two boys in six months probably qualifies), but I think I've been trying to approach a n/m person from a poly mindset since that's the grounds from which I'm usually coaching clients who are in "open" relationships of some kind.