Oh high school....

[gordonzola]

This will be a heck of a lot better than catching up at funerals...


Ok, so my 20th high school reunion is coming up. A couple of months ago I wrote about running into some high school people. Well, one of them just forwarded the info. And of course, it’s at Classmates.com which is an evil little website.

Why evil? Basically, you can’t do much beyond getting a list of names of people who are registered. If you click on the names to read their bios or see their pics you get this message:

Can't get a certain someone off your mind, Gordon?
Go Gold now to get back in touch.

Dear Homecoming Queen,* I’ve been in love with you since 1984 but have finally worked up the nerve to tell you. I’m only a cheesemonger, but I offer my undying devotion to the romantic image I made up about you and have been embellishing for 20 years. Please write back!

Yeah, that’ll work.

Anyways, in a drunken moment at a bar last year, I promised co-worker and attendee of the same high school, ctrhotpink, that we would go together. This is what people mean when they talk about making Bad Decisions under the influence of alcohol. I regret it now, but a promise is a promise. ilipodscrill what do you think about being our driver and bodyguard?

Anyway, here are some choice examples of why I’m so excited. These are all actual quotes from the RSVP list:


Can we have it somewhere a little more exciting than McInnis Park golf center?
The last reunion I heard about, the 5th year, was already charging $75 a head. I can only imagine how high the price would be if it was someplace "exciting".


What kind of music would you like to hear at the reunion? Phill Collins, some reggae,
Well, the memories would come flooding back.

Been thinking about the reunion for a few months now.
What possesses someone to start thinking about the reunion months ahead of time? Heck, since the reunion isn’t until September so I guess I am. But I was forced into it. Also this was posted last November or so, so this person has been eagerly awaiting the reunion for over a year.

I look forward to coming to see my (very) old California Friends. Its in my calendar and look forward to flying there from my home in Europe. Ciao
Did I tell you about my home in Europe? Hmmmmm?

The only difference is now we know how to really party.
This just scares me. I hope he doesn’t bring the beer bong.

What kind of music would you like to hear at the reunion? A bunch of hammered 40 year old Karaoke singers (meaning us) sounds good, so we can pretend we are still in high school! I thought I was kidding, but it sounds kind of fun... Still a little joker I am!
Making a serious comment and trying to pass it off like a wacky joke. I bet they are the star of their local karaoke bar and want to show off their special skill.

And the comment that really makes me want to attend:

Can not wait to see the MILFS....
That's a guy I can't wait to party with!


See, the problem is that I don’t love or hate my high school classmates, really. I just feel massive ambivalence about the ones I’m not in touch with. I think the whole experience will be lots of fakey-fakey about how great things were and how we all miss each other.

Anyways, I should probably make up some good lies to tell at the reunion. Any ideas? Anyone got reunion stories?



*heh, the homecoming queen actually reads this journal sometimes so let me say that this is meant to be an example of, not actual, declaration of romantic love. Of course, our homecoming queen was a little punky, photographer who went on to double major in English and Physics at a hoitier-toitier school than mine.

Comments

[arasay.livejournal.com]

If I were going to my reunion, I'd totally mention my home in Europe, because I'm just that shallow. But my school's too small for reunions - we just have alumni masses. Won't be attending that in 2007, I'm afraid to say.

But I promise, I wouldn't ever sign an e-mail Ciao.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

well, I mean, you'd kinda have to. People will say, "Where are you living?" It was just working it in on a RSVP form that most people answered "yes/no" to.

[epilady.livejournal.com]

There's something innately disturbing about referring to women in one's own peer group as MILFs.

That's just....ew.

[sarahshevett.livejournal.com]

Hmmm I've got my 30th coming up in June. I haven't been to one yet. Our class was so lame..I mean have you met any interesting 48 year old guys from New Jersey?
Our class was so lame
HOW LAME WAS IT?
It was so lame, that we didn't have a rain out plan for graduation, so when the thunderstorm hit, they cancelled the ceremony and announced that we could pick up our diplomas at the office.

[tubyred.livejournal.com]

god. who needs lies? your life is an awesome story as is.

[hawaiianrose.livejournal.com]

So weird that you mention classmates.com. I signed up on it probably 4 years ago, have had the same email address ever since and just this morning I got an email from a guy I kind of used to date in high school, 8 years ago, saying hey, here's my number, call me. 8 years ago. I'm married. It was weird. Thats the first time anyone's ever actually emailed me via that website. You're brave if you actually go to the reunion...

[bebopmonkey.livejournal.com]

dude, hook up that hot milf action. and snap a bongload for me bra.

I have one suggestion for you: Sgt. Cheese.

[ginoushka.livejournal.com]

Go dressed up as Sgt. Cheese, dude.

Really, I'm serious. The whole scene is going to be surreal and weird anyway. And you don't really care what any of the folks who you are not already in touch w/ think of you. And the ones who you have stayed in touch w/ will probably be tickled pink at the absurdity.

Hey, maybe the whole crew of you could go as a Cheese Army.

Think about it. Will you think about it?
Gina

I went to my high-school reunion

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

It was just as if everyone had swelled.

Re: I have one suggestion for you: Sgt. Cheese.

[gwenzilla.livejournal.com]

i was going to leave a comment about please-god-don't-let-me-get-sucked-into-a-wasted-morning-on-classmates.com but instead I'm just going to keep picturing this and snickering. dude. you *have* to. this is the best idea ever.

[poindexter]

If you have your hair and haven't gained significant weight since high school, you're Waaaay ahead of the game. I still have my hair, but gained 30 or so pounds, and I also got 2 inches taller after high school. Late bloomer, I suppose.

I didn't have a lot of attachment to my high-school classmates, but seeing the one or two that I knew happy and content made going worthwhile. Seeing the geepy library girls I loved and worked with turned into beautiful, confident women and seeing the cheerleaders looking tired and ragged was worth it for karmic value alone.

One person you knew will weigh twice as much as they did, another will weigh half. One had a kid during high school and you didn't know it, and someone you know is a porn actor/actress. Extra points for pointing out nose jobs and boob jobs in a loud, embarrasing voice.

And no matter how much time goes by, you still can't dance to "Should I stay or Should I go?" by The Clash.

[rootlesscosmo.livejournal.com]

I went to my 30th, in 1988 (after ignoring 10th and 20th) and it turned out to be a good thing to do. I reconnected with the people in my old crowd, which had been my first circle of real friends (we were the Lefty beboppers) and found that I no longer had much in common with some of them, memorioes aside, but became fairly close friemnds again with two or three. And I reconnected with an important part of my past, namely my involvement with music, which I'd abandoned in my early 20s. The reunion itself--an afternoon dinner at a fancy New York hotel--was a bore, but the party at one old friend's apartment was really sweet. I think the fact that I'd been living 3000 miles away, completely out of touch with everyone from high school (and even rumored to have died) probably gave the experience a keener edge than if I'd been vaguely "around" all those years, but in any case I'm glad I went. (I skipped the 40th but if I'm still around three years from now I think I'll check in for the 50th.)

high school reunions

[slipkid.livejournal.com]

I was incredibly hesitant about attending my 20 yr high school reunion because I did attend the 10th and it was atrocious. Everyone still seemed like they were in high school and trying to outdo each other in stuffiness, it was horrible. So, I wasn't gonna go to my 20th but I found out at the last minute that two really good friends were gonna be there so I paid the $120 at the door fee to get in and can honestly say it was almost worth it. I had fun and people were nice, they were relaxed, and the food at Spago's was surprisingly tasty. The free hour of cocktails helped too.

[ammonoid.livejournal.com]

Can not wait to see the MILFS....

Ew. This guy is obviously single. NOr has he matured since high school.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

totally. Plus, I don't even remember who the guy is. The name is vaguely familiar, but I was in a 500 person graduating class and can't place him. Might have to go find that yearbook.

[epilady.livejournal.com]

Does that make him a DILDO (Dad I'd Love to Drop Overboard)? Or a DOLT (Dude Of Laughable Testosterone)?

Or...well, go crazy with it.

[chitinous.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me, too!

[kest]

Wow, that sounds halfway to a bingo card.

You darn well better be

[flowerlane.livejournal.com]

Your 50th will only be our 38th, so you better make your reservations.

[incendiarymind.livejournal.com]

Just think of it as a sociological experience. I had my 10th a couple of years back and it was amazing how much everyone still had in common from growing up in suburbia. The reunion itself was really boring but afterwards we went to another bar and even though we had all went to different colleges and lived in different cities (well my group of friends did, a lot of the people there still lived in Detroit suburbia) the people were all so similar in how they turned out, what they liked to drink, the music they liked, etc. it was eerie. You'd think ten years and different social issues would change that, but it didn't.

If you think of it that way it will actually be interesting and mentally stimulating.

I have to say that I was awaiting my 10th reunion as soon as the 5th didn't happen. :)

[reddawn.livejournal.com]

I'm utterly flabbergasted by the idea that you thought hanging out with NHS grads would be interesting a mere ten years later.

[incendiarymind.livejournal.com]

How much time must pass before Novi grads become interesting? :)

question

[arispurr.livejournal.com]

o.k. sorry i'm out of touch, but what's a MILF?
need to know... apparently.

Re: question

[dobrovolets.livejournal.com]

"Mom I'd Like to Fuck"--phrase popularized by the American Pie movie, and many, many spam ads.

[dobrovolets.livejournal.com]

I never actually graduated high school, so I never need to worry about reunions.