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A movie to feel dirty with
Feb. 15th, 2003 10:00 amAs a big fan of movies-so-bad-that-they-turn-out-better-than-the-average-Hollywood-Crap, I must recommend a video to you, my "friends". Coyote Ugly is a fabulous work of terrible movie making, combining cliches, gratuitous gyration, bad acting and unbelievable plot-"twists" to create a true work of incomprehensible cinema.
I’ve been meaning to rent this movie for awhile but evidently it’s a movie that you don’t only need to be drunk to watch but to rent as well. Indeed, the video clerks will mock and judge you when you rent this film and you know what? They will be right to do it. Forge ahead, sometimes one must suffer for art.
The storyline? Working class girl leaves depressing New Jersey town and her father, John Goodman, in order to make it as a song-writer in the big city. NY is dirty, teeming, dangerous and scary. Unbelievably, working class girl can’t find anyone to listen to her songs in her first day of trying so she ends up, in desperation, trying to get a job at a bar called Coyote Ugly. Now, obviously a few scripts ago this was a strip club, but so as to let America feel sympathy for them, the women who work at Coyote Ugly don’t take off their clothes while dancing on the bar, they just simulate sex, hose themselves down with water and alcohol, and dance with a pole while pouring drinks.
Songwriter Girl overcomes her shyness, performs at a "songwriter’s showcase" and Le Ann Rimes immediately comes to Coyote Ugly and sings it from on top of the bar. Rimes does not hose herself down.
Of course, the plot takes unexplainable turns familiar to this genre. For instance, the bar crowd is all men until the "plot" needs Songwriter Girl to auction off her boyfriend to keep her job,* then, all of a sudden, the bar has about a 50:50 ratio. One bar girl wears leather to work and doesn’t mind getting it hosed down. It still looks in perfect condition the next night too. And, most mysterious, the way to make it as a songwriter seems to be to perform one’s own songs at open mike nights around the city.** No wonder the music industry is in such trouble.
Creative use of the "fast-forward" button is encouraged, by the way. Used well, it should cut this movie down to about 45-60 minutes. I suggest you employ it whenever Songwriter Girl starts looking like she might sing or get "creative".***
Since watching this movie, I have also been informed that there is now a Coyote Ugly Bar in Las Vegas.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
confabulator, can we go the next time I visit?
*Please don’t make me explain this. I feel dirty enough already.
**I know this came out before "8 Mile", but there is a painful Eminem/Rabbit stage fright moment here. Be warned.
***Though I did enjoy hearing the first bit of "La Di Da Di" until she started singing. "La Di Da Di / We like to party / We don’t cause no trouble / we don’t bother nobody"
I’ve been meaning to rent this movie for awhile but evidently it’s a movie that you don’t only need to be drunk to watch but to rent as well. Indeed, the video clerks will mock and judge you when you rent this film and you know what? They will be right to do it. Forge ahead, sometimes one must suffer for art.
The storyline? Working class girl leaves depressing New Jersey town and her father, John Goodman, in order to make it as a song-writer in the big city. NY is dirty, teeming, dangerous and scary. Unbelievably, working class girl can’t find anyone to listen to her songs in her first day of trying so she ends up, in desperation, trying to get a job at a bar called Coyote Ugly. Now, obviously a few scripts ago this was a strip club, but so as to let America feel sympathy for them, the women who work at Coyote Ugly don’t take off their clothes while dancing on the bar, they just simulate sex, hose themselves down with water and alcohol, and dance with a pole while pouring drinks.
Songwriter Girl overcomes her shyness, performs at a "songwriter’s showcase" and Le Ann Rimes immediately comes to Coyote Ugly and sings it from on top of the bar. Rimes does not hose herself down.
Of course, the plot takes unexplainable turns familiar to this genre. For instance, the bar crowd is all men until the "plot" needs Songwriter Girl to auction off her boyfriend to keep her job,* then, all of a sudden, the bar has about a 50:50 ratio. One bar girl wears leather to work and doesn’t mind getting it hosed down. It still looks in perfect condition the next night too. And, most mysterious, the way to make it as a songwriter seems to be to perform one’s own songs at open mike nights around the city.** No wonder the music industry is in such trouble.
Creative use of the "fast-forward" button is encouraged, by the way. Used well, it should cut this movie down to about 45-60 minutes. I suggest you employ it whenever Songwriter Girl starts looking like she might sing or get "creative".***
Since watching this movie, I have also been informed that there is now a Coyote Ugly Bar in Las Vegas.
confabulator, can we go the next time I visit?*Please don’t make me explain this. I feel dirty enough already.
**I know this came out before "8 Mile", but there is a painful Eminem/Rabbit stage fright moment here. Be warned.
***Though I did enjoy hearing the first bit of "La Di Da Di" until she started singing. "La Di Da Di / We like to party / We don’t cause no trouble / we don’t bother nobody"
