gordonzola | Entries tagged with fancy food show

So many visitors in town last week for the Fancy Food Show: San Francisco’s annual crass, high-end, food trade show that tries to message itself as some kind of must-attend experience. Because of scheduling conflicts it was in San Diego last year so 2008 was the first time in a decade I didn’t attend. I thought maybe 2009 would be a nice welcome back. Maybe it would seem refreshed and new… Maybe there would be a whole slough* of exciting new things…

Nah.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a good time there. It feeds my ego for sure, especially when people – reading my badge – yell out “Rainbow! We love Rainbow!”. About half of these folks are temps -- regular SF folks who shop at our store all the time and are just earning some extra money handing out chipotle-encrusted, green-tea-infused, expensively packaged sugar treats to grocery store schlubs. They’re always fun to chat with since for a change I’m not the only person working in that exchange.

The other half are shrewd or cynical business folks trying to fluff my ego for a big sale. “Thanks for the samples, but I only buy the cheese. I’ll be sure to send the nutrition-free, , over-packaged, processed snack buyer over to talk to you as soon as possible”.

I generally map out my route of who to visit and who to avoid on the MUNI ride** over and it serves me well. Multiple trips to the Straus Creamery soft-serve ice cream booth did put me in the heart of the organic pavilion though, where the Jack Lemmons*** were looking for natural food store leads. Luckily none were in the business of cheese so they weren’t my problem.

I was busy enough. This week I tasted some great new Belgian cheeses. Met some great English and Irish cheesemakers. Met a Willits goat cheese maker whose cheese should be available in a week or so. Had in store visits from Spanish cheese promoters and a few Dutch cheese importers.**** Signed up for some new Middle Eastern style cheeses.***** Met a woman who says my publisher has set up an April event with her at her new San Francisco food bookstore ( Omnivore, Haven’t been yet, but it looks awesome!). And, I’m just remembering right now, was asked to moderate some discussion boards for the American Cheese Society.

The biggest news is that I learned that I will finally, finally, finally be able to sell the new Sheana Davis creation Delice de la Vallee which I will buy even though it’s made in Sonoma with a fake French name. The cheese is an unpretentious cow/goat spreading cheese, honest! Mmmmmmmmmm! I did miss Sheana’s yearly party at the Rogue Ale House because we postponed our yearly nighttime worker party until January this year. Dudes, Pam the Funkstress played our worker party! I couldn’t miss that! Though we did start getting noise complaints at 9 PM.

So that was my week. How was yours?

*It occurs to me that I am not sure if “slew” or “slough” is correct here. Instead of looking it up, I’ll let LJ Land correct me. I like the imagery of “slough” because it reminds me of salty water, stinky mud, and hunting with my dad.
**Dudes, do you have Translink yet? It’s awesome. I don’t ride enough to make a Fast Pass worthwhile so to me this is the best MUNI improvement in years. Especially when they eventually link BART and MUNI. I’m afraid that transfers may actually be enforced for 1.5 hours now, but the convenience of not having to have change definitely wins out for me.
***Yes I have used this metaphor previously. But nothing sums up sales desperation like “Glengarry Glen Ross”
****Enabling me to bring huge hunks of Dutch cheese to Café Van Kleef when I went there to hang out with

smallstages and her co-workers.
*****Confidential to

tupelo I went for the Lebanese-style Labne over the Persian style one.

About this time of year you can usually expect to read my article about the Fancy Food Show. But you know what? I blew it off this year. Sorry Dear Readers.

First off, the end of the year was a bit overwhelming. Selling 20% more cheese this year than last is exhausting, especially since last year wasn't exactly slow. I'm worn to the nub! I had no schmooze left in me.

Second, I have some non-cheese things in town that I really needed to deal with. Things that without attention might become disappointments or embarrassments. Those now feel pretty dealt with. No longer frantic! That's me.

Third, the show is during my weekend. Because of the travels of other folks, I was gonna get zero days off in two weeks if one includes travel. And I do.

Fourth, my car started acting up. Yes, I have a car. Many people are surprised by that. Am I not an American?

Fifth, I fucked up my foot somehow and the idea of walking a trade show makes me wanna cry. Today's my first visit to a podiatrist. Getting old is fun!

Sixth, due to either some kind of scheduling mix up or brilliant plan to be inclusive (depending on who you believe), the show is in San Diego this year instead of San Francisco. While it's nice to not have vendors secretly shopping the store and asking leading questions, I don't think the show is really worth traveling for.

Seventh, because it was in San Diego, many people were taking this year off. I had reps tell me not to bother with it since they put up a token table this year only so they don't lose their preferred slot for next year.

Eighth, the show is pretty much the same every year. Therefore you can just read my old entries

Ninth, sadly, I kinda miss it. Not enough to go mind you, but this is the first time in a decade I've missed it. I especially miss all the free cheese that comes my way after the event. This is the first time in years I haven't had a food-show-leftover party.

There is a certain company that we carry that has been a problem from day one. Unfortunately, it's a pretty good product. The thing is that everyone involved with the company seems to be a jerk.

This is not a cheese I'm talking about so the reason that I even know they are annoying is an indication of how outstandingly hard to deal with the company is. I think their initial discussion with one of our grocery buyers started with, "I cannot believe you don't already carry our product." and degenerated from there, implying that we obviously don't know what we are doing. This is also a company that at the Fancy Food Show often won't sample to people without retailer or distributor badges, even the folks working next to them for three solid days.

It's a product that wins awards and has customer demand though so against the buyer's better judgement she brought them into the store about a year ago. Sales were not as strong as their reputation.

During this year's show I was volunteering my time for a cheese event with US-made cheese. A friend of mine puts it on every year as a way to get food people interested in cheese and beer pairings and to make food people realize how good North American cheese is getting. I get some free beer out of the deal, but I do it out of friendship and as a way of giving back to some of the struggling cheese makers who help provide me with a living.*

I was standing behind the cheese and answering questions about it at a pace that was right up there with the busiest supermarket rush. Someone from this annoying company introduced herself. She said she was doing a demo in the store next week. Then she started complaining about our grocery buyer. She went on and on about how she was told that she had to bring her own table to serve off of and how unreasonable that was and couldn't I find a table for her…

"You have to talk to the person who set up the demo," I responded over and over while trying to tell people which cheeses were which, where they were from and what kind of milk they were.

She wouldn't go away. "No one has ever asked me to bring a table." Blah blah blah. After about five minutes of her complaining and other folks trying to get to the cheese she was blocking, I finally said, "Look, no one I have ever set up with a demo has ever complained about this. You need to talk to the demo coordinator or buy a table but you need to stop talking to me about it. I Can't help you." I walked to the other end if the table where it was too crowded for her to follow.

Two days later, the day of her demo, I happened to be coincidentally standing next to the grocery buyer when we heard a page over the intercom. "Does anyone know if we have an extra demo table? Call customer service."

The grocery buyer looked at me and said, "I'll deal with this."

Two days after that we heard the industry gossip that this company was merging with another food company. We know the other people well. They are the ones who told us we needed to raise our prices because we were making their products seems "too cheap" and are always telling us what companies we should drop to make room for more facings of their products. They are the epitome of entitled neediness, likely a trust fund-generated business.

"Oh my god," the grocery buyer said. " Now I'm dropping them for sure. It's like a Perfect Storm of assholes."

*Some cheesemakers certainly don't need my help. And certainly the makers of Parmigiano Reggiano and our rBGH-free Monterey Jack provide me with more of my living, but still…

Current Music: Billie Joe Armstrong -- "life during wartime"

Old Mr. Importer was giving me a tour of their booth. It was a large booth, about sixteen display cases, each one staffed by a European sampling out their products. OMI walked me through each one, introducing me to the people I didn't know and pointing out the cheeses he thought I'd be interested in.

The cheese his company imports are generally large production European ones trying to break into the American market. I don't buy from OMI directly, and I tend to be only looking for more hand-made and small production Euro cheese, but you gotta know what's out there.

About halfway through, there was a pretty good washed-rind German cheese. During their aging, washed rind cheeses are brushed or brined with salt water or booze. The creates bacterial reactions that make the rind pink or orange and make the cheese more strong and pungent. There are lots of different washed-rind cheeses but it's generally the style that gets described as smelling like old socks or yeast infections. This German one at the booth probably wouldn't be too expensive since it was large production and while it wasn't too strong, it had enough stink and stickiness to make newer cheese eaters realize they wouldn't have to be scared anymore. I'm always looking for gateway cheeses.

But the German rep, thankfully not dressed in lederhosen like almost every other working German in the building, was much more interested in selling me loaves of bland cheese with stuff in it. Cheese-with-stuff-in-it, as most long-time readers know, is my lease favorite category of cheese, but if I want some for the store, I certainly don't need to import it from 6000 miles away.

Finally I got the subject back to the cheese I was actually interested in. Imediately he tried to steer me towards buying it pre-cut and wrapped.

"Why would I want to do that?" I asked, picturing sad, shriveling little pieces of cheese below sealine in a cargo hold, crying out "Why did you cut me so young?'" as the last bits of interesting flavor leach into the heavy cryovac plastic, and they die a lonely, unappreciated death.

"Well, the ladies…" I will not try to mimic him phonetically, but read his quotes with a heavy German accent.

"Uh, what about the ladies?" I ask.

"Cheese counter ladies…"he holds up his hands. "They don't like to get smelly cheese under their fingernails. Pre-wrapped keeps the ladies happy."* He gives me a big smile. OMI had the good graces to laugh nervously and try to change the subject. The German cheese rep plows forward talking over him, giving me one of those we're-all-men-here smiles along with a shoulder shrug. "You have to keep the counter girls happy."

"Wow." I say, "I've never really noticed that being a problem, see…"

OMI, a smoother-overer by profession, butts in between us and thanks the sexist German for his time. The German rep nods and scurries back behind the counter. OMI quickly introduces me to the English cheesemaker at the next station. "You'll really like these cheeses," he says nervously.

"What is it," I ask.

English cheese. With stuff in it. Of course.

*much like cuts of Emmenthal keeps the ladies happy I guess.

Current Music: Epoxies -- "Bathroom Stall"

This year's food show inspired me. Inspired me to form a band. I think I'll call it The Sales Reptiles. I wrote this song after coming out of the Moscone Center dying for a breath of cool, fresh air, and a little moment of quiet.

Leather Pants at the Trade Show

Leather pants at the trade show
You must be sweating a river
Leather pants at the trade show
Lonely sales reps all a quiver

Leather pants at the trade show
Thighs must be swimming like perch
Leather pants at the trade show
You really wanna move that merch

Leather Pants at the trade show
Watch where their eyes go
Leather Pants at the trade show
No one can tell you no!

Feel free to suggest more lyrics or other appropriate song subjects.

At the beer and cheese tasting that I was working, I got cornered by a couple of higher-ups at a local cheese distributor. They were grilling me about why I buy this from one company and that from another one and basically why I don’t buy everything from them. They seemed hurt when I told them I think of them as a commodity cheese seller first and a specialty one second. And geez, it’s not like I didn’t order half a pallet of Basque sheep cheese from them last week.

Anyways, one of my favorite cheese folks walks up and I introduce everyone. The main distributor guy is probably younger than me by the way; the guy who just walked up runs a store in Milwaukee and I would take to be a just too young to be a real hippie back in the day. When I tell Distributor Guy that this person is from Milwaukee he responds with, "Oh wow, my brother is a weatherman in Madison."

Now, I know it’s probably a function of age and whether one did college-based activism, but this is the kind of statement that lets you know who you’re dealing with. Milwaukee guy and I almost jumped in surprise.

"No way!" I said. "What did he bomb?"

"I didn’t think there were any left. " Milwaukee guy said.

Now, we were joking. But Distributor Guy had no idea what we were joking about.. Even as we tried to explain it, he just got more confused and, I think, a little horrified that a group of old underground revolutionaries popped into our heads so easily. Obviously, this had never happened to him in his usual circle of business associates and friends.

His brother was not Karl Armstrong, for the record.

Here’s an early cheese tip. I can’t imagine how anything at the Fancy Food Show will be better than the new Jasper Hillcheese. It’s amazing. It’s called Winnemere and it’s the best new cheese I’ve tasted in years.. It’s like an American Vacherin Mont D’or but with a stickier rind. This thing eats like a fucking steak. It's raw milk, rich, pungent, beefy, woodsy, all that good stuff. I tasted it cold and it blew me away. Not sure when it’s coming in, but if you are closer to Vermont, you might already be able to get it. (I’ll have full info after my meeting today)

Like all new cheeses, consistency will be the big question. Will the next batch or the batch in 2 months be this good? Time will tell, but right now it’s amazing.

Also, since I’ve never plugged it here, the Haystack Mountain Red Cloud is another cheese not to miss. From raw Colorado goat milk, this has pungency and depth that most American cheese simply doesn’t have. Not for everyone certainly, but this really does stand up to the French cheeses in quality. Plus, getting the opportunity to really talk to the company rep for the first time just made me want to sell it even more. She’s awesome.