Enthusiasm

[gordonzola]

"How do you get to be the cheese buyer here."

He is a late 40s white guy, non-descript except for slightly crazy eyes. He is excited about the cheese. He is talking to my co-worker, Garage Rockstar. "You have to get a job here," she replies. "But of course he'd have to quit first."

We've just gone through a week of the food show where lots of grocery folks from all over the country were in town, looking over the store, taking pictures, digging for info etc. Is he a leftover from the show? Someone with experience who actually is looking for work? Someone who's using cheese a medium for their mania?

"I might just have to take a contract out on him. Would that be ok?"

"Well, that's up to you, I guess," Garage replies. She laughs. I laugh. It's the humor of relief, knowing that we don't need to worry anymore what we say to him. It's not codified, but when someone crosses that kind of line, anything goes.

He saw it in our faces. The customers can sense it really, even many of the crazy ones. Not that they've gone too far, but that our retail worker tone has changed. We're ready to go on the offensive.

"Do you know anything about cheese?" I ask. Garage stops work to watch him. He seems suddenly antsy.

"Well, I'm trying to learn. How do you find these cheeses? You do such a good job." Awesome, Now he's trying to suck up to us.

"Sales reps, trade shows, the annual cheese conference…"

"Oooh, there's an annual conference? Can anyone go?" Crazy Eyes asks.

"It's mostly trade, but you can go as an enthusiast," I reply.

"How do I prove my enthusiasm? "

"You write an enthusiastic check," I answer.

Comments

[stopword.livejournal.com]

Seems like that happens with every profession.

"I've always wanted to be a librarian, I like books. Wait, you need a degree? Weird."
"Man, I should be a writer, I've got a million stories."

[violentbloom.livejournal.com]

well it is weird that you need a degree to make minimum wage as a librarian...
I wanted to do that until I found out that the salary would totally suck and I'd never actually pay off my student loans.

[stopword.livejournal.com]

Anyone can get a job as a circulation clerk, page, circulation supervisor, reference assistant, information desk attendant, children's room supervisor...etc. There's a set of specific tasks that librarians take on. Think of it as a nonprofit MBA.

[stopword.livejournal.com]

oh, shoot, it's morning and I misinterpreted your comment, sorry. I got the degree, sold out to the man, and make quite a lot of money. Depends on what you want to do with it, I work for search engines designing metadata.

[elusis.livejournal.com]

"I bet I could be a therapist. People say I'm a good listener."

Me and my 95K, 9-year MA/PhD get very cranky over that. Dude, all I had to do was listen to people? Who knew?

[flipzagging.livejournal.com]

Just curious -- what proportion of that was learning stuff you use every day, and what proportion was about pleasing the guardians of the system so you could call yourself a Real Therapist?

[elusis.livejournal.com]

"And have you stopped beating your wife yet? Answer yes or no."

I note that "learning things I didn't already know that are fairly specialized and specific knowledges" is not an option there.

[flipzagging.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean that in a hostile way. I thought it was a common experience that a lot of academic work was unrelated to what one did day in and day out.

I had a roommate who was an elementary school teacher, and as you may know you have to jump through many hoops to get schools to like you. It seemed like half his time was spent catching up with trendy pedagogical theories to please school officials. That was his assessment, by the way.

And I used to think I was going into sound design, and our professors made us learn how to splice audiotape (circa 1995). Even though *everyone* agreed these machines were soon to be museum pieces.

But you have a point, my question did place things in too stark and utilitarian terms, so I apologize.

Partay!

[sarahshevett.livejournal.com]

"I've always wanted to have a goat dairy. I think it would be fun!"

"Do you have goats?"

"No, but I love animals!"

Re: Partay!

[trixiefirecat.livejournal.com]

wow, that is really funny!

Re: Partay!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I actually hear that one a lot too, mostly including "and make cheese". I just shake my head. Then I ask them if they realize that making cheese is 90% cleaning. I don't even get into the farming aspect. It's so obviously just a fantasy for every non-rural/non-cheese professional I've ever heard say it.

Re: Partay!

[stopword.livejournal.com]

ha, that is absolutely my fantasy, although I know it's fairly unrealistic. I think we had this exact conversation once. :)

I think my dream now is to fund someone who knows how to raise sheep/make cheese who will tolerate letting me "help". This is me, working to make a pot of dollars for that.

Re: Partay!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

but you sold out to the man! You can just hire people to run it for you and be the lady of the manor, appearing just to do interviews to talk about "your" goats and "your" cheese!

;)

Re: Partay!

[stopword.livejournal.com]

That sounds awesome! Only 4 more years of selling out and I'm a goat magnate!

[prof-southbay.livejournal.com]

I like that your tag is "retail studies." Perfect.

I need to call you back. I also need to shower. So, maybe after my shower.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

yay. I want to know how you are doing and also how your cat to manx transanimal is post-op.

[uberconfused.livejournal.com]

"you write an enthusiastic check"

That's brilliant!

[lizsybarite.livejournal.com]

That's hilarious.

I remember being so irritated by everyone and their mom thinking they'd be "awesome" at doing phone sex. I especially liked the "I used to have it with my boyfriend all the time, I'd be great at it! Can you get me a job?" folks.

(I always wanted to ask whether they routinely made their bfs drink their own urine during these little sessions, but truly, I didn't want to know.)

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

Prude.

[ilipodscrill.livejournal.com]

hilarious!!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I wish you'd been there!

[freshwater-pr0n.livejournal.com]

Sometimes people get in touch with me to ask me how they can become dog trainers. They're always crushed to find out that it involves years of study and practical experience. And owning a dog or two.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

details, details....

[artnoose.livejournal.com]

I used to work as a receptionist at a spa, and people would often say, "Ooh, it must be *so* wonderful to work here!" My favorite response to give was, "No, I work my butt off so that it's a wonderful place for *you* to be here. There's nothing fun about answering phones, laundering piles of laundry, and cleaning out hot tubs every 15 minutes."

[elusis.livejournal.com]

What, you weren't answering the phone while neck-deep in the hot tub with one hand sticking out to be manicured?

[artnoose.livejournal.com]

Dabs! You got me! (and I woulda gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you pesky kids...)

[trixiefirecat.livejournal.com]

it's such funny buyer = "shopper" mentality, minus any relevant experience, knowledge, expertise...

OMG I'M GONNA BE A SHOE BUYER, i can totally do it dude! lookit my closet!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

AND I'LL ONLY CARRY THINGS I LIKE!

[danyea.livejournal.com]

*happy dance*

I'm so glad he was at your store and not mine!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

we all get our share, I'm sure. I just hope the dude doesn't show up in Vermont!

[flipzagging.livejournal.com]

This happens in game programming. There's a lot of people that think -- hey, I like games, I would be awesome at creating them. They clamor to get tech support positions at Electronic Arts or whatever and get roundly exploited.

The weird thing is, in computer programming, random kids walk in off the street and they're sometimes a LOT better than seasoned professionals. Studies have proven this. People have a lot of theories, but this is a perennial mystery.

[tubyred.livejournal.com]

nice. enthusiastic check.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

look at you! you're all over LJ now.

[tubyred.livejournal.com]

I'm supposed to be writing my business plan and can't seem to muster the gumption to do the research, so I'm futzing on the LJ. And now I'm at work, supposed to be sending edited layouts to England, and instead I'm responding to LJ. Just wait till I get the new job; I'll really be all over this thing!

Cheeses mongers

[torgo-x.livejournal.com]

You works at a foods library.