In search of the perfect post

[gordonzola]

I’m sure others before me have speculated on the perfect LJ comment-bait entry. What would it be? I have used almost all of these, though never intentionally as comment bait. I love the idea of putting them all together in one entry. Can you add to it?

Something about LJ sucks. I was discussing this with namedrop people with_big friendslists here while walking by a very recognizable place in my city. When we were going to see a cool band after leaving the clown sex show. We also discussed the situation in Israel/Palestine. And my job sucks.

By the way, do I look cute in this picture?

Comments

[postmaudlin.livejournal.com]

we were also talking about my latest fight with significantother, and speculating why things didn't work out with recentex. perhaps it was my penchant for kinkysex?

You do good work

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised that namedrop isn't an active community. Had I any desire to maintain such, I'd snatch it up in a second. As it is, my invite codes remain unused.

[vestalvixen.livejournal.com]

I want to play, but I don't want to look for usernames. *sniff*

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I almost forgot. I have an unfounded but strong opinion about a certain computer operating system.

[vestalvixen.livejournal.com]

I hate my best friend and I'm ditching her when I go to college. I'm sick of being unemployed and feeling like a loser. I love my boyfriend so much. Everyone is jealous of me.

[systemerror.livejournal.com]

There's someone on my "friends" list who is a closet (or who knows, maybe an open) cam whore. It's not the focus of the journal, but when she posts a pic that shows some skin, those comments just multiply exponentally... What's worse are the fanboy types that comment. I make full use of my "friendsfriends" page (that's how I stumbled on your journal, BTW) and those guys litter that page as well.

Another good way of getting comments, best if female: "I could use a hug" followed by 17 *hugs* comments.

[erickapander.livejournal.com]

don't you think if i knew i'd be employing them?? comments are the bane of my existence. i never get enough to make me feel like it's worth opening my mouth. or my fingers, as it were.

wait, did i just out myself as a needy comment junkie? oops.

[walktheplank.livejournal.com]

- if I was an incurable foot fungus my scientific name would be ______.

- i've just posted the latest EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND fan fiction...

- orlando bloom is SOOOO freakin' hot!!!!

- without my boyfriend/girlfriend, i am nothing. i can't believe that s/he cheated on me. please reassure me that i'm not really as co-dependent as you think i am.

- lol! i don' beleev in propr punctuation, either! (*grin!*)

- 'you are a bilbo baggins! women swoon at sight of your big hairy feet. please copy the following code and paste it into your web page...'

- other poeple should really work on they're spelling and their grammar! i ereally hate it when poeple misspell words!!!

- (*hugs*)

I have nothing to add

[jette.livejournal.com]

Except I think I love you.

By the way, do I look cute in this picture?

[defenestr8r.livejournal.com]

You are freaking fantastic.

How's this:

"Here's some nearly naked pics of me. Do you like them? If enough people do I will post the X-rated ones...."

Bound to get you a few responses. Well, at least if you were a girl. There is no shortage of needy exhibitionists on livejournal. It never ceases to amaze me.

[nickyludd.livejournal.com]

Naaah! That post'll get no comments.

[superchones.livejournal.com]

you forgot to add that livejournalarchnemesisis such a complete loser/jerk/waste of space/etc! so that all of her/his lj friends can visit your journal and start a comment_war!!

[rivetpepsquad.livejournal.com]

dude: you've already SEEN the perfect post!!!

*snicker*

[qthebrave.livejournal.com]

oh my god! my mom is trying to make me eat. ana[rexia] is my choice!

[anarqueso.livejournal.com]

Or: "Gordonzola is fucking three LJ users, but only two of them know. WE all know who, of course! Right?

[nickyludd.livejournal.com]

Or how about:

Hi, I've just joined this community. It looks really coo and interesting.

Replied to, thusly:

* Oh hi.

*Glad you've joined us.

* Yeah we have really intesting discussion here.

+ 30 or so more of the same kidney

AND THAT IS FRIGGING IT!

[grapesoda.livejournal.com]

Comment bait in my journal tends to be anything I post about food. Man, people love drooling over food that doesn't come wrapped in saran wrap.

oops. I forgot about the cheese. I guess there's some good cheese out there that comes wrapped in saran. I prefer brown butchers paper though. I wish everything came wrapped in brown butchers paper.

I don't think this comment belongs here. hm.

[misscallis.livejournal.com]

I'm going for a particular audience.

I wish I knew the difference between camembert and brie

[lth.livejournal.com]

I finally came up with something - you've got the music, but you need a current mood. I vote for "sexy." Then your post is pretty much perfect.