In search of the perfect post

[gordonzola]

I’m sure others before me have speculated on the perfect LJ comment-bait entry. What would it be? I have used almost all of these, though never intentionally as comment bait. I love the idea of putting them all together in one entry. Can you add to it?

Something about LJ sucks. I was discussing this with namedrop people with_big friendslists here while walking by a very recognizable place in my city. When we were going to see a cool band after leaving the clown sex show. We also discussed the situation in Israel/Palestine. And my job sucks.

By the way, do I look cute in this picture?

Comments

[postmaudlin.livejournal.com]

we were also talking about my latest fight with significantother, and speculating why things didn't work out with recentex. perhaps it was my penchant for kinkysex?

great

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

Clicking the userinfo link for kinky is wonderfully disappointing.

Sex's userinfo, on the other hand, was great. Especially the "if you are sex" part.

You do good work

[citizenx.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised that namedrop isn't an active community. Had I any desire to maintain such, I'd snatch it up in a second. As it is, my invite codes remain unused.

[vestalvixen.livejournal.com]

I want to play, but I don't want to look for usernames. *sniff*

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

it's ok, you can just make 'em up. they don't have to be real.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I almost forgot. I have an unfounded but strong opinion about a certain computer operating system.

[nosrialleon.livejournal.com]

Comments like that just prove my point.

[vestalvixen.livejournal.com]

I hate my best friend and I'm ditching her when I go to college. I'm sick of being unemployed and feeling like a loser. I love my boyfriend so much. Everyone is jealous of me.

[systemerror.livejournal.com]

There's someone on my "friends" list who is a closet (or who knows, maybe an open) cam whore. It's not the focus of the journal, but when she posts a pic that shows some skin, those comments just multiply exponentally... What's worse are the fanboy types that comment. I make full use of my "friendsfriends" page (that's how I stumbled on your journal, BTW) and those guys litter that page as well.

Another good way of getting comments, best if female: "I could use a hug" followed by 17 *hugs* comments.

[erickapander.livejournal.com]

don't you think if i knew i'd be employing them?? comments are the bane of my existence. i never get enough to make me feel like it's worth opening my mouth. or my fingers, as it were.

wait, did i just out myself as a needy comment junkie? oops.

[fightingwords.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

Seriously e, try some of 'em. They're gold I tell ya.

[walktheplank.livejournal.com]

- if I was an incurable foot fungus my scientific name would be ______.

- i've just posted the latest EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND fan fiction...

- orlando bloom is SOOOO freakin' hot!!!!

- without my boyfriend/girlfriend, i am nothing. i can't believe that s/he cheated on me. please reassure me that i'm not really as co-dependent as you think i am.

- lol! i don' beleev in propr punctuation, either! (*grin!*)

- 'you are a bilbo baggins! women swoon at sight of your big hairy feet. please copy the following code and paste it into your web page...'

- other poeple should really work on they're spelling and their grammar! i ereally hate it when poeple misspell words!!!

- (*hugs*)

[jactitation.livejournal.com]

I was gonna just reply, "Eeeewwwwww!!!"

And then I remembered that I can't think of any fan fiction that doesn't make me go eww. I like the myth that my fictional characters are firmly attached to their network/publisher/site.

(Sorry I'm getting way off your topic, Gogo. But here: "And I think that monogamy is really just about [Bad username or site: capitalist possession @ livejournal.com].

[jactitation.livejournal.com]

Heh. Okay, "capitalist posessivism" isn't an LJ user.

[arasay.livejournal.com]

Maybe try capitalist_possessivism?

[arasay.livejournal.com]

Oh, never mind. I was going for the power of the underscore. No such luck.

[jactitation.livejournal.com]

Smartass. Actually, I did. Just fucked up the second time. But no, either way.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

too many letters. you have to split 'em into two. capitalist possesivism

[greasyspoon.livejournal.com]

Hey, hey there!
Theres nothing wrong with a little bit of internet hugging.

{{{hugs}}} ;)

ps
and i'll readily admit that i'm codependent, i'm just digging for advice. I swear!

I have nothing to add

[jette.livejournal.com]

Except I think I love you.

Re: I have nothing to add

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

awwwwww.

By the way, do I look cute in this picture?

[defenestr8r.livejournal.com]

You are freaking fantastic.

How's this:

"Here's some nearly naked pics of me. Do you like them? If enough people do I will post the X-rated ones...."

Bound to get you a few responses. Well, at least if you were a girl. There is no shortage of needy exhibitionists on livejournal. It never ceases to amaze me.

[nickyludd.livejournal.com]

Naaah! That post'll get no comments.

[superchones.livejournal.com]

you forgot to add that livejournalarchnemesisis such a complete loser/jerk/waste of space/etc! so that all of her/his lj friends can visit your journal and start a comment_war!!

[superchones.livejournal.com]

DAMNED! the rejected lj user name was LIVEJOURNAL_ARCH_NEMESIS.

[rivetpepsquad.livejournal.com]

dude: you've already SEEN the perfect post!!!

*snicker*

oops

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

Ha. You know, I posted this right before I went to work and I had this nagging feeling all day that someone else had done something similar. Of course, fishing for comments is a little different that being "prototypical". But thank you for planting the seed in my head. I didn't steal anything verbatim did I?

And I'm glad I went back because I hadn't read all the comments. Everyone else! Go visit that link!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

Oh my. I did totally steal the picture thing and the work bitching. And I can't even claim I didn't see it because I commented!* Damn.

Forgive me?

*which I had also totally forgot about. It made me laugh as did your reply to it.

[rivetpepsquad.livejournal.com]

HAHA!

don't worry, my dear--i don't consider it stealing in the slightest!

just the passing on of a good meme...which i appreciate.

(and yeah: fishing for comments IS different. i was just mocking the many things i see over and over again on my OWN friends page....although did i post quiz results?? FUCK! I THINK I FORGOT QUIZ RESULTS! OMG!)

your comment made ME laugh.
and yes, more keep accumulating. not sure where people are finding it, which is funny...

i've noticed this in myself, too: wondering if a thought i've had is "original" or if i'm just not remembering where it comes from--i.e., "source confusion".

[qthebrave.livejournal.com]

oh my god! my mom is trying to make me eat. ana[rexia] is my choice!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

so sad. so true.

[anarqueso.livejournal.com]

Or: "Gordonzola is fucking three LJ users, but only two of them know. WE all know who, of course! Right?

[jactitation.livejournal.com]

Wait, are you saying that the third one doesn't even know s/he's being fucked by gordonzola? Or that the third doesn't know about the other two, while the other two know the whole scoop?

Grammargirl, what's up?!!

Re:

[anarqueso.livejournal.com]

...or both?!...

[nickyludd.livejournal.com]

Or how about:

Hi, I've just joined this community. It looks really coo and interesting.

Replied to, thusly:

* Oh hi.

*Glad you've joined us.

* Yeah we have really intesting discussion here.

+ 30 or so more of the same kidney

AND THAT IS FRIGGING IT!

[grapesoda.livejournal.com]

Comment bait in my journal tends to be anything I post about food. Man, people love drooling over food that doesn't come wrapped in saran wrap.

oops. I forgot about the cheese. I guess there's some good cheese out there that comes wrapped in saran. I prefer brown butchers paper though. I wish everything came wrapped in brown butchers paper.

I don't think this comment belongs here. hm.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I love your food comments. They always have a home in my journal.

We wrap our cheese in plastic. Don't hate me. Not saran though. just to be safe

[misscallis.livejournal.com]

I'm going for a particular audience.

I wish I knew the difference between camembert and brie

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I'm going for a particular audience.

Your family? Bitter ex-punks and zinesters? Teacher fetishists?

As for the difference between Brie and Camembert the answer is pretty much nothing. True Camembert and true Brie, from their regions of origin, use almost the exact recipe and mold and the difference is mainly that Brie is usually 2 kilos and Camembert 500 grams.

What's sold here is unpredictable. People call all sorts of things by those names that they shouldn't (they are all in the "soft-ripened cheese" category) and it's too far gone to be helped. The fact that the true versions are raw milk cheeses not allowed (usually) into the country adds to the confusion.

But why do you care, cheese hater?

[misscallis.livejournal.com]

I'm cheese-baiting you! Nothing to do with friends or family.

Besides, I've been doing Atkins for 3 months now. Not only do I eat cheese everyday-- Guyere, Camembert, Boursin, etc. But I'm no longer lactose intolerant. Apparently I've been sugar intolerant all this time! As long as I don't eat sugar, I can eat 8 ounces of cheese and not even have a belly ache. I'm reformed!!

[lth.livejournal.com]

I finally came up with something - you've got the music, but you need a current mood. I vote for "sexy." Then your post is pretty much perfect.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I never use the mood mode so I didn't even think about that. perfect.