Those wacky world of X-tian entertainment.

[gordonzola]

These are recycled links for sure, but they demand more attention.

Beating children is good, the bible tells us this. But the Communists take it too far. Here in America we have the freedom to jump rope. (edited:link now fixed!) Thanks yousmell!

A holy rendition of "Baby Got Back" This takes forever to load but is sooooooo worth it. Thank you jamie_miller and substitute!

Comments

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I couldn't stop staring at the rope jumpers. My eyes hurt.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

yes, but it's the intro that's pure gold!

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I'm going to have to find my speakers one of these days. :)

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I honestly never thought I'd see such a thing.

[epilady.livejournal.com]

True story - in Pocket Family land (that'd be me, chestertodd and princessrugger, NIB stands for Not In the Butt.

Oh yeah, with the red silk ribbon!


And I bet sparkle_shortz would want me to tell you all about http://www.christianpaintball.com/

Don't miss their gospel outreach group, GAGG!

No, really.

[epilady.livejournal.com]

Okay, and also:

1. Am I the only one who found it extremely disturbing that the Southpaw crew name is "Caucasian Invasion?"
2. WTF, beating children is OK, but renting them out as "oriental" minstrels in skimpy pedophile-inducing shorts is hunky-dory, as long as it's for the praisin' of the Lawrd?

And the Pope calls us homos evil ideologues. Sheesh.

[epilady.livejournal.com]

Oops, "is NOT OK"

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I like that he felt the need to define "southpaw". Come to think of it, it does sound a little satanic.

[epilady.livejournal.com]

You know "sinister" also means left-handed.

[magpiesf.livejournal.com]

OH. MY. GOD.

ok, the jump rope one was typical christian terror.

but at least "southpaw" seems to have a sense of humor... at least, he better... we were in hysterics over that one...

and its NI_V_ with the red silk ribbon - as in new international version :)

oh man, im still laughing...

[epilady.livejournal.com]

Whoops. See what a good Xian I am, eh?

Still, we were in hysterics, over here....

[magpiesf.livejournal.com]

heh. if nothing else, being brought up christian is good for reference purposes!

[epilady.livejournal.com]

Yep, being raised Sufi, ISKON, CUT and Baha'i' makes for good short stories, but bad Judeochristian contextuality.

:)

[magpiesf.livejournal.com]

fortunately, i escaped the "baby got book" and musical jump-rope variants of xianity, and their general brethren, and got parents with very open minds, religiously speaking. knew what their choice was, totally cool with it not being everyone elses - and therefore no problem at all when it turned out to not be mine.

but sometimes its alarming how much of it i remember (and i mean beyond knowing that my namesake book (joel) is second only to revelations in terms of time spent prophesying doom! woo hoo!)

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I'm such a good x-tian that I had to get a Jew to explain what KJV stood for.

(King James Version, for others like me)

[magpiesf.livejournal.com]

you are SO going to hell.

just in case youre wondering, the "red letters" are only present in the new testament - they signify that its the big JC talkiing.

Ah-Hah!

[imnotandrei.livejournal.com]

So that's what it is. Darn. And here I was thinking it was praise for very old-style and illuminated bibles, like the glorious Doves Press bible, with its red book-opening caps (IIRC)

[ladycakes.livejournal.com]

waaah...it won't work for me

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

which link?

[ladycakes.livejournal.com]

the mysterious jump rope thingie

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

oh, fixed it. I was fixing punctuation and lopped off something important. oops.

[freshwater-pr0n.livejournal.com]

Ach, mein Gott!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

Mein Frau hast Gott!

[superchones.livejournal.com]

that baby got book thing has caused me a headache.
it would be so much better if it was satire. maybe.

DJ Whiteboy says,

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

hey, the "Caucasian Invasion" is coming for you!

THANK you

[chitinous.livejournal.com]

"Baby Got Book" was so...too...incredibly...
I really have nothing else to say.

Re: THANK you

[chitinous.livejournal.com]

And also, I finally watched the first one. Pirates, visions, spanking, AND rope jumping ALL IN ONE FELL SWOOP. Glory be!

[slit.livejournal.com]

That was so beautiful for that Christian Texas woman to adopt those Oriental children. *sniff*

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

She know how to beat 'em right!

[psoup.livejournal.com]

Spare the rod,
spoil the child.
Of course you should spank your children, but not abuse them.
Jesus H Christ, Christian contemporary music always has sucked, and what the fuck are they jumping rope for? This is, I guess, entertainment in Texas.

Baby Got Book we've seen a million times, and the girls and I memorized the beginning - so funny.
She must be one of those preacher guys' girlfriends.
She's just so, righteous!

[buckybarnes.livejournal.com]

So, lonely texas housewives cruise the orphanages for 16 year old "orientals" in satin shorts? Where's Jacqueline Susann when you need her?

[touchyphiliac.livejournal.com]

That song is a little catchy and those kids sure can jump rope, but THAT IS SO FUCKED UP. I wasn't able to view this link when you first posted it, but SHIT!!!! That woman makes me ill.