So many only vaguely related things...

[gordonzola]

I’ve always wanted our store to have a marching band. What a great way it would be to start the day! The band could start in the back parking lot, form a procession down the loading dock alley and come around the front of the store. I’m partial to them playing the Internationale, but we could make up a co-op anthem. The band leader, rotated every day of course, would carry a key over his/her head instead of a baton. Make a big theatrical performance of unlocking the store for the day and letting in the queuing customers. Then the band would march through the wide aisles past the bulk food, the produce, and the cheese into the worker-only area. All the workers setting up for the day would immediately know we were opening when they would hear the band coming down the aisles.

It would beat the hell out of the "We’re open!" page.

And at the end of the day the procession would be reversed, shooing the customers up to the registers where the band would play until the last person was checked out. A perfect way to end the day.

The end of the day on Saturday was odd until I figured out what was going on. As often happens when an event goes on in the city, it has an effect on the store. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what the event is, we’ll all just notice something odd. Sometimes it’s pretty obvious, like the rush we can get after Saturday Giants games when everyone is wearing baseball hats. Other times it’s more obscure. For example, "Did you guys notice a lot of our customers were dressed like clowns today?" "Why does everyone have their faces painted with peace signs?" "Is it just me, or is everyone dressed slutty today?"

I had forgotten that Saturday was The SF Fetish Ball so I didn’t get it at first when suddenly all the customers started looking, depending on one’s orientation, either way hott or way slutty. It was dairryiere’s first day back at work and we bonded at gawking over the same big, mean-looking, punk femme. It’s so nice to have her back.

Right before the BMLPF, there was a couple at the counter wearing PVC, leather and not much else. They were just this side of hanging all over each other. One woman was obviously the cheese top, pointing out the Brillat Savarin, leaning in close and saying, "This is the kind of cheese you eat in bed with crackers, after sex." Since I’m a bigger cheese top, I offered that eating it with apples or pears wouldn’t get crumbs in the bed. I think this challenged her cheese dominance as she whisked her friend away quickly. With the cheese, of course.

Instead of the fetish ball, we rushed over to the Make Out Room to catch susanstinson read at Writers with Drinks. Unfortunately we arrived just in time to see her leave the stage. Oh well, Thursday at A Different Light I’ll have another chance. I heard she was really good.

Too many LJers were there to name drop them all. But hello everyone.

Comments

[pantryslut.livejournal.com]

I heard she was really good.

She was really good.

I am glad to learn that I was not hallucinating when
I thought I saw you there. Sorry I didn't have a chance
to say hi.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

yeah, I didn't see you but Nick said you were there.

[whimsicalpops.livejournal.com]

You meanie topping a cheese domme!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

visitng cheese dommes need to show the proper respect.

[ayodele.livejournal.com]

is sgt_cheese going ot have a shootout at the cheese corral?

shooing out

[rootlesscosmo.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't you need different music for the end of the day?

The guards at the Louvre have an amazing end-of-the-day routine that involves them forming groups that gradually shoo the visitors out of one gallery after another, the groups of guards coalescing along the way, until all the guards in a phalanx sweep the last visitors out the front door which is then locked.

Re: shooing out

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I'm open to musical suggestions. But the Louvre thing is exactly the kind of thing I was envishioning!

Re: shooing out

[rootlesscosmo.livejournal.com]

Well, I can think of different ways to go on the music. You could try truly horrible--Alvin and the Chipmunks, or "Holiday for Strings," or the theme from "A Man and a Woman." Alternatively you could try to find the antithesis of "The Internationale," which could very well be "God Bless America"--a strong entry in the Horrible Sweepstakes too. Only trouble is the workers wouldn't hold still for it--certainly not every day.

And what about April 10th for dinner, eh?

Re: shooing out

[rootlesscosmo.livejournal.com]

"God Bless America"

...as recorded by Kate Smith, of course.

[mylastsigh.livejournal.com]

What a wonderful idea!

It is something Bunuel or Fellini would do.

Bravo. Make it happen!

LJ whores unite!

[animikwaan.livejournal.com]

hello! :)

Re: LJ whores unite!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

oh, I get it. My last sentence. I thought you were self-identifying as either the cheese top or cheese bottom in the cheese scene I described. Soomer or later that's bound to happen!

[gismonda.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a lovely way to start the day!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

i know. It would make everyone so happy! Though I notice a dearth of co-workers commenting here.

hey!

[slipkid.livejournal.com]

i want a band at my work. it would kind of weird to have a band at a law office but what the hell, it would really get people going in the morning. maybe they would decrease their coffee consumption that way. anyway, sign me up!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

see, I was just thinking cattle prods.

[deadletters.livejournal.com]

Ohmigod! I can so see the marching band being a good thing. They should open some mornings with the theme from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. 'We're gonna make it after all.' Good and uplifting.
Close with Mr. Belvedere (Very co-op lyrics: "But sometimes things get turned around/And no one’s spared/All hands look out below/here’s a change in the status quo/Gonna need all the help that we can get/According to our new arrival/Life is more than mere survival/We just might live the good life yet.)
Or maybe My Two Dads.. okay, maybe too obvious. ;)

[afellowwaitress.livejournal.com]

Schlamiel Schlamazel, babay!

I wholeheartedly endorse beginning the day with a song whose lyrics begin with, "We're gonna DO IT." Because I'm twelve years old.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

It'll be an all tv-themed marching band!

[gismonda.livejournal.com]

We used to play "Movin' On Up" from the Jeffersons in stage band. I might still remember my part.

[whimsicalpops.livejournal.com]

When I was one of the evening library staff at sac city college I made a tape of barking Dachshunds to play as the lights were turned off at closing time. 30 minute warning before closing, 15 minute with no more material can be checked out warning. All above mentioning that the guard dogs would be released for the evening at the closing. The lights would be turned off furtherest back room then each area working toward the front. The barking would get louder and louder... The sounds of a pack of rabid wiener dogs got the lot out right as the key was turned.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

That is amazing. I stand in awe.

[dairryiere.livejournal.com]

Jingle Cats! Jingle Cats!
Every time my mom puts it on to entertain my children I find an excuse to leave the house.

Being not yet fully acclimated to San Francisco...

[troubler.livejournal.com]

I thought you were building up to mentioning the St. Patrick's Day parade, although I couldn't figure out how "slutty" would translate into "wearing a kelly green plastic hat."

Re: Being not yet fully acclimated to San Francisco...

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

no St Paddy's day translates into "green puke on the sidewalk" not "hot" or "slutty".

[dirtylibrarian.livejournal.com]

I love the idea of the marching band. I played in high school, but also in the Graduate Employee's Organization's (of UIUC) little four piece. Mostly we just played "When The Union Comes Marching In".

I have kicked someone out of bed for eating crackers (goldfish at Burningman, specifically).

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

maybe the real message to her friend was "you are so hot, I not only wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating crackers, I'll buy you crackers." that's devotion.

[anarqueso.livejournal.com]

That's even sweeter than my vision of the grocery store dance/musical number with cashiers high-kicking it on the conveyer belts at the registers, customer service blue-manning with their pushbrooms and mop buckets, and cheese creating atmospheric vinegar mist while singing heartily.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I think we should be doing cheese knife juggling.

[paintdrinker.livejournal.com]

I miss marching band.

Also, I miss marching band uniforms. I suspect this should be shameful, so, umm, don't tell.

Fucking epaulets, man. *swoon*

P.S.

[paintdrinker.livejournal.com]

So this is pretty much unrelated, except my undying bitterness compels me to share the information at every possibly opportunity, but Fairfield High School's marching was SPONSORED by the Jelly Belly Corporation. They would go to band reviews with jelly bean patches on their uniforms and the Jelly Belly(TM) logo on the colorguard's flags. It was so disgraceful.

[twotoedsloth.livejournal.com]

Okay... the marching band idea is great. Maybe you could end the day with St. James Infirmary Blues.

But as for the cheese top.... maybe getting crumbs in the bed was the point.

[twotoedsloth.livejournal.com]

On second thought, if that was the point, maybe it wouldn't be for after sex.

Naw! "Liberty Bell" by Sousa

[skwashy.livejournal.com]

It's the Monty Python themesong.

Re: Naw! "Liberty Bell" by Sousa

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

that would be pretty great. And it fits with the TV show theme theme suggested earlier.

[goodbadgirl.livejournal.com]

"I think this challenged her cheese dominance as she whisked her friend away quickly."

She should have bitch slapped you with that cheese. Shame on you for whipping it out all over her sweet little cheese scene.

You're right about the pears of course, but still.

BMLPF

[dairryiere.livejournal.com]

I only remember drooling after one customer in my current job and it was a friend of mine who came in to surprise me.

You forgot to mention the 2 or 3 cable car bus things full of drunk St. Patty's celebrators that we both wisely decided to ignore as we got in the car as fast as possible. It was kinda like trying to get in a car before the wild bear at the camp ground notices you, move quick and don't look it in the eye.

I'm very happy to be back too, I just need to figure out how I can work my schedule to include shifts.

Re: BMLPF

[uke.livejournal.com]

I think we just met today. There was some ice cream involved, with lavender. Am I right?

Re: BMLPF

[dairryiere.livejournal.com]

You are very right.
Cute co-shopper with you.

[rednfiery.livejournal.com]

"Instead of the fetish ball, we rushed over to the Make Out Room to catch susanstinson read at Writers with Drinks. Unfortunately we arrived just in time to see her leave the stage. Oh well, Thursday at A Different Light I’ll have another chance. I heard she was really good."

hey, i was planning to leave class 1/2 hour early to attend her thursday night reading, so maybe i'll see you there. (i'll be the ordinary looking girl with the funky, red, partial mohawk. not that this pic does justice to the color, but at least you'll know what i look like....) if i'm feeling social, and not shy and awkward, i'll say hi and introduce myself.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

fauxhawk!

I'll be there a little late since I don't get off work until 7. But yes, please say hi.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

you know she's reading tnight in thebEast bay too, right? Laurel Books. I think at 7, but the details are on her LJ.

[rednfiery.livejournal.com]

yes, i was thinking about going tonight, but i have both (corporate) work and homework competing for my time, so i'll likely be working really late.

and don't be making fun of my "fauxhawk" -- for a suburbanite mother of 3, don't you know i'm totally edgy (and, even better, an embarrassment to all my kids)?!

Einzug der Gladiatoren

[torgo-x.livejournal.com]

I require your opening theme to be Julius Fucik: "Einzug der Gladiatoren".

It is the new Earth anthem.

[elusis.livejournal.com]

But did you come down on the side of hott, or slutty? Inquiring minds want to know.

At least the cheese top didn't lean into her bottom and murmur "tell me what you eat, and I'll tell you who you are."