Classmates.com

ok, so ever since I checked out my reunion info, and stupidly didn't use a fake name, I've been getting e-mails. It's to my junk account, but I was clearing it out tonight and greeted with, "Two new XXXXX High School grads have joined!", "3 Updated profiles!", "2 New pictures", "2 people have visited your bio!", and the ubiquitous "Ready to party?"

But this is the best one yet. Trying to entice me to upgrade to a paid account was this tempting tidbit:

Someone from XXXXX High School chose these Q&A answers to reveal details about life, love, family, or career.

Q: When it comes to work: (Check all that apply)
A: I love what I do and can't imagine doing anything else
Q: How would you describe your current relationship status?
A: Married
Q: What do you like to do in your free time? (Check all that apply)
A: Dine with friends; Go to movies; Have drinks with friends; Listen to music; Read; Spend time with family; Sports or strenuous activity; Surf the Internet; Take classes; Travel; Work on my hobbies
Q: How would you describe your current work life?
A: Work full-time
Q: What is your main source of current events?
A: Television

Think you know who this is?

Wow, who could it be? How can I resist joining now? I’ll get to know all about which boxes people who I haven’t seen for 20 years will check. And what an original array of options! This questionnaire makes me feel so close to these folks it’s like no time has passed at all. Sign me up!

Seriously though, if they had answers where I had to guess which classmate was homeless, in prison, or just straight up crazy, they might have gotten my money.

(Edit: inspired by sissyhips these are the questions that would make me more likely to join classmates dot com)

The q and (possible) a above seems designed to be as dull as possible wheareas our modern reality calls for more petty, sanctimonious, self-serving, and grudge-settling impulses.

These questions would liven things up:

1. Which classmate would you least like to see and why?
2. What secret did you keep in high school that we should all know about?
3. Which teacher was the best secret lover?
4. Did you ever get pregnant/get a friend pregnant while in high school?
5. Abortions? how many (during high school)?
6. What have you been arrested for?
7. Time served?
8. Describe your sexual orientation in detail.
9. Do you plan on getting drunk at the reunion and hitting on someone? Who?
10. Do you plan on getting drunk at the reunion and settling an old score? With who?

Please feel free to suggest your own.