Negativity on parade

[gordonzola]

jette, in her own display of San Francisco-living angst, made a should-I-move-away-from-San-Francisco post. She had the wonderful idea of trying the find your spot website for suggestions. I blatantly stole her idea. Consider it a meme. Here are the top suggestions I received (which were actually fairly similar to hers):

Portland, Oregon City of Roses
Wow, Portland. I never thought of that!

I considered making up some stuff, but I don’t really have anything negative to say about Portland. It’s just that it would feel way too much like starting over, moving to a(nother) city full of young hipsters.

Albuquerque, New Mexico The Pulse of New Mexico
I was in Albuquerque in 1984. My best friends grandparents got altitude sick and we flew in to drive their car back to the Bay Area. We stayed with his cousin in an apartment complex filled with 20 year olds who partied all the time. Cousin told us that the altitude makes you get fucked up faster when you drink.

Little Rock, Arkansas Where America Comes Together
Nice slogan for a town who’s first image that pops to mind is troops protecting small Black children trying to go to school. Think they hired a PR firm for that?

San Francisco, California The Golden Gate City
The towers of this city's Golden Gate Bridge are purposely out of alignment in order to compensate for the curvature of the earth...
Wow, I didn’t know that. And when did "The Golden Gate City" become our slogan?

Sacramento, California The River City
uh … no

Baltimore, Maryland The Sparkling Harbor City
If I wanted to move to the East Coast this is probably where I’d go. But I don’t. I have friends there and I love the "Hon" thing and the cheap housing.

San Jose, California The Silicon Capital
This city is home to Lou's Living Donut Museum, a combination donut shop and museum with tours and a secret recipe.
The donut museum makes it more appealing but San Ho is WAY TOO HOT for me. And talk about your sprawl…

Honolulu, Hawaii America’s Tropical Paradise
Like Hawaii needs more white people. And if I did move to Hawaii, it would be to around Hilo.

Oakland, California East Bay Living
Yup, the Beast. It’s always a possibility despite the heat.

Las Vegas, Nevada Entertainment Capital of the World
Ladies' Home Journal called this one of its Best Cities for Women,
What do you think confabulator? Should I?

Washington, District of Columbia The World's Greatest Capital
I must have clicked the "I like museums" box.

Providence, Rhode Island New England’s Best Kept Secret
Now there’s a slogan. Might as well say "we’re unpopular, but working on it"

San Diego, California California’s First City
…
Orange County, California Live The California Dream
Are they high? What could ever make me move to these hell holes?

New Haven, Connecticut Home of Yale University
I’ve heard good things about New Haven. But I think they were lies.

New Orleans, Louisiana The Crescent City
Maybe if motel666 joins defenenst8r there …I loved it the one time I visited. Of course, I didn’t have to do anything but wake up at 1 PM and start drinking because it was vacation.

Eugene, Oregon The Emerald City
Home of the primitivist anarchists and John Zerzan. No thanks.

Corvallis, Oregon Heart of the Willamette Valley
If I’m going to Oregon, it’s gotta be the coast.

Long Beach, California LA’s Ocean Playground
…
Santa Barbara, California The American Riviera
Maybe I’m just putting these together out of ignorance, I don’t know. But if I’m moving to SoCal, it’s gonna be to the city.

Hartford, Connecticut The Insurance Capital
Please tell me something about this town other than its "The Insurance Capital". Anyone?

Boston, Massachusetts America’s Walking City
This city features slit, vestalvixen, and tarynhipp which almost makes it worth consideration. Almost. Plus I read that wrong the first time as "America’s Wanking City", an image that will unfortunately stay with me.

Medford, Oregon Gateway to the Pacific Northwest
This gorgeous spot boasts the West's only operating water-powered grist mill, located on the banks of Little Butte Creek since 1872…
What I look for in a city is a water-powered grist mill…

Salem, Oregon The Heart of Oregon
I didn’t think it was possible for a city to illicit no response from me at all, but Salem somehow succeeds.

Is it that bleak out there? Or just me?

And wait. Why didn’t I get Seattle? I love Seattle. If I was really going to move anywhere, that’d likely be my first choice.

Comments

[zerbie.livejournal.com]

I just did this and it presented me with a list of New England cities I know nothing about. Hrmph. It also seems to have ranked them in order of which ones get the most snow every year. Because I need more snow in my life.

[vestalvixen.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you said no to "I love lots of rain", and that's why you didn't get Seattle. Like I've said before, I'd probably love Boston if I hadn't grown up here. But if you're thinking about leaving SF to escape high rent and high cost of living, you'd be sorely out of luck. We don't even have rent control.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

actually, with the exception of the other Boston LJers and one friend, everyone I know who lived there hated it.

[jette.livejournal.com]

Long Beach and Santa Barabra could not be more different.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I've lived in California pretty much my whole life. but I'm SoCal ignorant beyond LA.

[trishylicious.livejournal.com]

i've taken that quiz about 3 times over the past three years... i've never once gotten my own city (philadelphia) , which i love for a lot of reasons... museums, cheap rent, easy to get around on a bike, a lot of parks and open space... not to say it's perfect by any means, definitely not. but nowhere is perfect. but the problem is, yeah, after you spend a number of years in one place, you might want to settle down or try somewhere new.

my results were similar to yours.
i'm so surprised that nyc or chicago didn't come up even.

eh, well. perhaps the cost of housing knocked that one out.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I liked Philly a lot when I lived on the East Coast. But I haven't really been there since the '90s started. Of course all we ever did was drink Natty Bo (and those liquor/beer stores are quite exotic to a Californian) and watch TV with my friend's friend's bands who never seemed to play live when i visited.

[nihilistic-kid.livejournal.com]

Hartford, Connecticut The Insurance Capital
Please tell me something about this town other than its "The Insurance Capital". Anyone?

There's a river in it. And it sucks.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

yeah, to be honest that description alone knocked it out of consideration.

[lemon-says.livejournal.com]

Among several cities I DO like, I also got Tulsa, Oklahoma and Mobile, Alabama.

I do not recall checking the box that said, "Do you feel good dental hygiene is extraneous?"

[rockgeisha.livejournal.com]

...........

[grapesoda.livejournal.com]

a lot of my choices matched yours...I had about four or five choices for Oregon. I wonder if Findyourspot.com sells green cards.

[grapesoda.livejournal.com]

and they didn't have any quiz questions pertaining to the cost of an oz.

[ammonoid.livejournal.com]

There's more to DC than just the museums. Unfortunately it has become populated with yuppies and the housing prices are like here, now. The crime rate is on the rise tho, so maybe some of the yuppies will leave. I'm from DC, so I tend to get defensive, even though I will admit the city sucks at times. It is more like a collection of small towns than a city, anyway.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

you know what the creepiest thing about DC is? the cameras at every intersection and at streets with MPH readouts. They send tickets automatically through the mail. crazy.

[elusis.livejournal.com]

It didn't offer Denver as a choice, so clearly the quiz is broken. ;>

My list is weirdly slanted toward Oregon as well, with a disturbing dash of Deep South:

Portland, Oregon
Hartford, Connecticut
Providence, Rhode Island
Baltimore, Maryland
Medford, Oregon
Charleston, West Virginia
Eugene, Oregon
Corvallis, Oregon
New Haven, Connecticut
Frederick, Maryland
Boston, Massachusetts
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Salem, Oregon
Bend, Oregon
Worcester, Massachusetts
Danbury, Connecticut
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Little Rock, Arkansas
Washington, District of Columbia
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Sacramento, California
Annapolis, Maryland
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Sheboygan, Wisconsin

I mean, what's with all the Arkansas? And West Virginia? Welcome to my definition of hell. Maryland isn't much better. The appearance of Sheboygan made me laugh... if you're going to go with Wisconsin, why not Madison? Maybe it was my house pricing and rent pricing that got me such a weird result, but then Boston made it on the list.

[shaking head] These tests are just weird.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

yeah, all the Oregon is making my head hurt. and no SF for you? You'd fit in well in the Bay Area, I think. Maybe there'a a therapist moratorium?

[tarynhipp.livejournal.com]

THE WANKING CITY!

it's all true.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

heh heh. I thought you'd appreciate that.

[kmama.livejournal.com]

Orange County, California Live The California Dream
Are they high? What could ever make me move to these hell holes?

Ahahahahahhha!!!!!!!!

[erickapander.livejournal.com]

i don't know, if i were a millionaire i would consider moving to newport or laguna beach. most decidedly not hell holes ;).
however, you couldn't pay me to live in westminster (where erin & ken are)!!

[ex-motel666812.livejournal.com]

You'd really move here??? Arrrrgh. Well, maybe you'd have better luck moving here as an adult than growing up here. Right now I'm so sick of Seattle's shit I'd move to, uh, Salem, Oregon for two cents.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

In all sincerity, if I had to leave my job and my home, It would be a likely choice. but don't wait for me or anything.

[capn-jil.livejournal.com]

seattle fucking blows syphilitic cock. you whining about hipsters in portland is nothing compared to the one-two punch of asshole rich!!! hipsters and asshole yuppies that have infested the goretex and damp city that i enjoyed BEFORE IT GOT ALL EXPENSIVE AND LAME. i am waiting for the rebound when everyone is broke and it is crazy and scary. then: grad school!

also, salem is where they make pod people.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

thanks for the Salem tip!

as for Seattle, when you live in SF you view the Seattle hipsters and yuppies as just pale imitations. I mean that in a good for Seattle, bad for SF kinda way.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

First, do yo mind if I ask your user icon out on a date?

second, I have a few Baltimore natives as friends and the house that one friend bought with a couple thousand dollar down payment and a bartender's wages just blew me away. 3-story row house on a pakr with a basement for well under $100,000. sigh. I must have been blinded.

As for the "hon" thing, I'm sure you're right. It's actually the way the natives say "yeeeeah" right in the middle of your sentences while you talk that I find endearing. yeeeeah.

and I do like my drinkin' even if I don't smoke.

[akki.livejournal.com]

If you want to know what Corvallis is like, go to Davis for a few moments. Enough said. I felt like I had found a magic portal of evil that would instantly take me back to Davis when I was there.

If you want to know what Salem is, go to Roseville or some other neighboring area in Sacramento. Add a few more christian pro-lifers, and you get Salem. Don't do it. I know you decided to give Sacramento a second chance (BWA HA HA HA HA!!!), and I hope you learned your lesson. :)

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

those were very clear descriptions. thank you. eeeek.

[oheunoia.livejournal.com]

New Haven, Connecticut Home of Yale University
I’ve heard good things about New Haven. But I think they were lies.

all lies...well okay maybe im lying...i don't like it...it's too influenced by the fact that rich yalies are around and not influenced enough by the actual residents of new haven...but it's an okay place if you can overlook that...lots of restaurants and museums and summer concerts on the green and shakespeare in the park and arts festivals...you know what some people refer to as "culture"?...

Hartford, Connecticut The Insurance Capital
Please tell me something about this town other than its "The Insurance Capital". Anyone?

ugh...i grew up in hartford...and seriously that's about all it has: insurance...not anywhere near as much "culture" as new haven...not even worth a visit...unless youre a fan of mark twain...as a house he lived in is there...

heart,
Petra*

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I kinda meant to explain that further. the person who told me all the good New Haven stuff turned out to be totally unreliable. I've never had the opportunity to disprove those stories but I did others.

and sheeesh, Aa Californian doesn't need to go to Connecticut to hang out with Mark Twain stuff. He was the original Oakland-hater, the "no there there" guy.

[jette.livejournal.com]

Do you belong in San Francisco?
brought to you by Quizilla

[erickapander.livejournal.com]

aw, i wanted something mean. but this will have to be explained to me:

(http://quizilla.com/users/aempirei/quizzes/Do%20you%20belong%20in%20San%20Francisco%3F/)

[rzr-grl.livejournal.com]

Looking at Jette's post, I'm starting to suspect that findyourspot only has about 40 locations from which to choose. Or maybe there are only 40 semi-decent places to live in this country? Hard to say.

I am considering transfering to an out-of-state college. I'm already freaked out about giving up my apartment (only $1000/mo! how will I ever find another?!? yikes). Posts like these (esp. the comments in jette's) put the fear of a vengeful god into me:

"You will hate everywhere else, now that you've lived in SF. It's all downhill from here. YOu will never be able to come back. Oh, and even if you stay, you are doomed beyond the age of 40. Good luck!"

I really go through cycles with this city. I hate it, can't wait to get the FUCK out. THen some invisible thing will shift, and I love it and NEVER want to leave. Sometimes I know what causes the change; my inital shift from hate-leaning ambivalence to outright love happened when I started training for a bicycle race, and rode through the Presidio and GGP almost every day.

Unfortunately, I'm a lazy git, and all I see now are crackheads and concrete and hipsters and yuppies and parking tickets and knocked-over motorcycles and road-rage. Right. WHy am I here again?

I loved Seattle a great deal. I miss it bad, sometimes.
If I had to move and had my choice, I'd probably end up back there, or maybe Portland. I always saw Portland as Seattle's punky little brother.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I don't want to ignore your thoughtful comments. but my next popst will address a lot of things I'd say in response.

New Orleans

[defenestr8r.livejournal.com]

After a few weeks here, sleeping til 1pm and drinking all day seems to be the norm. The unemployment rate is hovering somwhere around 50% which may explain it....

Re: New Orleans

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I must visit you. Is Mark still here? I thought I saw him the other day.

[nickyludd.livejournal.com]

Please excuse this off-topic comment, it relates to your earlier post on the left, and if I put it there I don’t know if the other responders will see it, and I think it may interest them, as well – hopefully – as you.

The current ish of the brit journal Radical Philosophy has an article on some aspects of the history of the British Left (i.e. that around the Communist Party and its Trot rivals). It considers recent books by the historians Eric Hobsbaum and John Saville, the literary critic and theorist Terry Eagleton, the sociologist Stuart Hall and also the remarkable three part series ‘The Lost World of British Communism’ in New Left Review Nos 154, 156 & 165 by Raphael Samuel.

I won’t go into my own view on it, just that it’s worth looking our for and reading. Try alternative bookstores and university libraries.

Oh, why is Boston 'The Walking City'?

[walktheplank.livejournal.com]

On a related note: what IS it with former Trotskyists all becoming Neo-conservatives?

[warhooligan.livejournal.com]

I feel exactly like you do. I would move to seattle in a heartbeat. Hell, odds are I am, next year. And my first answer was portland as well. I got a lot of oregon- eugene, medford, bend, etc...
Maybe its because washington is more expensive?

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

maybe the whole thing is sponsored by the Oregon chamber of commerce and tourist burea?

[wouldprefernot2.livejournal.com]

I did that survey a while ago, the results are here.

[beelavender.livejournal.com]

I lived in Portland for six years and it is a fine place. There are lots of artistic young people doing cool things because for awhile it was the only cheap city on the west coast. There is a huge punk scene, with many many community houses and etc. We refer to it as a punk rock retirement town - the city the punks go to when they are tired of real cities and real ghetto life.

But it isn't cheap now. To give you a frame of reference, North Portland houses that sold for $50,000 to $85,000 six years ago are on the market now at $250,000.

The infrastructure won't disapear because enough people bought houses back in the day, but the glory years are finished. The town is right up there with Seattle for cost but there are fewer jobs.

We moved to Seattle on purpose and it is the only city I want to live in on this continent. I like it here for lots of reasons - the weather isn't even vaguely what people from elsewhere assume (I've never owned a raincoat), there are beaches everywhere, you can see two mountain ranges, and it is a historically populist town.

I like San Francisco too, and New York. I like crowded rowdy cities. But it is nice to live in a place where there is a little bit more room between buildings if you are paying a lot of money for the honor.

I might consider living in Pittsburgh except for the weather. I would be pleased as punch to live in Italy or Spain for awhile.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

What I like about Seattle is that it's a city for adults and kids but not quite hip enough to attract a huge post-college trendy crowd. Plus some of my best friends in the world are there. that's the biggest thing really.

and in San Francisco we laugh at the thought of $250,000 houses. Of course, it's a bitter unfunny laugh to keep from crying, but whatever.

Did you hear about the big accident in San Jose?

[swaz.livejournal.com]

San Jose, California The Silicon Capital
This city is home to Lou's Living Donut Museum, a combination donut shop and museum with tours and a secret recipe.
The donut museum makes it more appealing but San Ho is WAY TOO HOT for me. And talk about your sprawl

100 square miles of unplanned suburban sprawl.

That joke just gets better with age.

Re: Did you hear about the big accident in San Jose?

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

hah hah. It will always be safe to bash San jose.

You know what the best thing in San Ho is? I don't know if it's still there but there was a diner called "Sliders" (I think) that had the hugest cakes I've ever seen. Like 2 ft. tall with many layers. You gcould share one tall skinny piece with 2 or 3 people.

It was right next to the Mystery House and in the same parking lot as those weird "futuristic" movie theaters

[walktheplank.livejournal.com]

I'd be suspicious of any "find your spot" website that suggests moving to (gack!) Arkansas and Orange County but doesn't even mention cities like Chicago, Minneapolis, or New York.