Cab ride of the damned

[gordonzola]

I took a cab home from work last week. I had groceries, my knee hurt, and it was starting to rain. I only live 8 blocks away but it’s uphill. I treat myself to a cab less than I treat myself to a half order of Big Nate’s pork ribs after my crazy Saturday of work, so I figured I deserved it.

I didn’t deserve my cabdriver though. He immediately started in. "What do you think of Gavin Newsom and his gay marriages?" he asked, not really asking. Reserving the qualifiers I might use in a conversation with friends, I responded to his intent. "I think it’s great."

Of course that was what he was waiting for to start his rant. After going on about all that Christian Blah Blah for a bit, he said something about how you don’t see "dogs marrying dogs in nature". I admit I was caught a little off guard since most SF cabdrivers go on Lefty rants, not Christian ones, if they wanna talk politics. But I did take the opportunity to point out all the studies in the last few years which have shown homosexuality in the animal kingdom. This angered him.

"Lies! All Lies! I am a scientist and a Christian! That is the same science that tries to tell us that men came from fishes and monkeys!" He stopped his rant to yell at the confused car in front of us. "Stupid Women drivers," he screamed out the window even though he couldn’t see the driver. When we passed I looked back and noted that it was a man.

He then decided to bring the conversation back to safer ground. "Newsom will do a good job with the homeless though. Don’t you think?"

Comments

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

If he's a scientist, why is he driving a cab for a living?

[wouldprefernot2.livejournal.com]

Research.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

I see. I look forward to the publication of his big breakthrough scientific discoveries about cab driving.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

well, obviously a lot of immigrants need to work in jobs well below the level they are trained for in their home countries. Him, I don't know about though.

[jennizane.livejournal.com]

Those bloody Christian san francisco cab driving rant spewing scientists!

[jamie-miller.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Gordon, I can't believe it took you this long to happen upon a member of this vast and influential subculture!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

God only knows how big it is.

[obliviot.livejournal.com]

christian scientist cabbies? As a former cabbie myself, my favorite fairs were the reborn christian crack heads

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

How'd they tip?

[obliviot.livejournal.com]

what started as a ride to point richmond to lend his mother some money ("have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?") was the topic of discussion all the way to the richmond bridge. Half way across the bridge it turned from visiting ma to buying cracking than trying to pick up a hooker to me being paid to sit out in the parking lot of a dive motel in Richmond while he did his thing...his thing didnt work out because he stuck his head out the door called me over pointed to the tv on the wall which happened to be turned to the porn channel with some buxom young lady blowing some guy and said "I want to do to you what that girl is doing to that guy" Mind buzzing from crack smoke contact high I returned to my cab than to the glorious county of Marin

[rhiannonstone.livejournal.com]

A scientist and a Christian? Does that mean he's a Christian Scientist? :)

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I thought of that too, making me realize I have no idea what a Christian Scientist is.

[arasay.livejournal.com]

From beliefnet.com (cheesy, but not a bad resource, IMPO):

"The faith teaches that God, Father-Mother of all, is completely good and wholly spiritual, and that all God's creation, including the true nature of every person, is the flawless, spiritual likeness of the Divine. Since God's creation is good, evils such as disease, death, and sin cannot be a part of fundamental reality. Rather, these evils are the result of living apart from God. Prayer is a central way to come closer to God and heal human ills."

So if you're sick, you pray instead of going to the doctor. They have reading rooms in every conference city I've ever been in (and in Albany), and always have a table at ALA conferences where they're giving away books, so I imagine they've got money. My father's aunt was a Christian Scientist, but all I remember about her is her crazy poodle.

Which is more information than you need or want, most likely. Think of it as a drive-by librarian incident.

[dirtylibrarian.livejournal.com]

I think they put out a damned fine paper too...I read it online with some regularity (farthest I get from lefty news reading ;)

One of my co-workers is a Christian Scientist. She is mega cool, though I always feel like she thinks I'm a total wimp when I take sick days.

[crazyrants.livejournal.com]

holy crap jesus is on my friends list!

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

Thank god someone recognized Him.

[brownstargirl.livejournal.com]

They don't marry cats, either.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

heh. Have you seen the short "Transanimals"? It goes on too long, but it's a hillarious look at Trans issues looking at dog-to-cat and cat-to-dog transanimals. My favorite part? One partner of a CTD transanimal says, "I try to be supportive, but it's a big change in my own identity. I've always thought of myself as a cat person. Now I'm a dog person." Brilliant.

[brownstargirl.livejournal.com]

heh heh. where would I find this thing?

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Probably at your local queer or tranny film festival.

[captain-grim.livejournal.com]

Really, I think Mel Gibson may want to base his next movie on this guy.

Big Nate's sounds like the kind of place I'd love to stop for a brew and some ribs...

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

Big Nate's is really more of a takeout place. You can sit there, but it's a little too brightly lit and hard-plastic-seat-furnished for me.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

It took me years, but he likes me now. We chat about stuff while I wait for my order. I think he's just really shy. I always wonder if he's a relation to the real Big Nate cuz he's so tall.

I love zany cab rides

[bebopmonkey.livejournal.com]

Man that's awesome. I always get the middle-eastern dude who's like "Safa? Is that a Muslim name?" To which I answer no, and he gets silent and (i imagine) begins to plot my death. Or shares some really awesome new arabic pop-star.

P.S.

[bebopmonkey.livejournal.com]

I have friended you, w/o a permission slip

Re: P.S.

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

Dude, I already friended you back.

[reddawn.livejournal.com]

I'm impressed that you bothered to engage in the debate. There's something about being stuck in a car with someone I don't know--someone who's probably packing heat--that makes me a bit wary of controversial topics. Is that just my Chicago paranoia shining through?

yeah, you got Chicago paranoia

[slipkid.livejournal.com]

SF cabbies can't afford hand guns. but they do have cool picture cameras that go off when you open the door (you don't notice it). they turn into movie cameras if the driver presses an oh shit button. as long as they don't have to put up the thick plastic like in NYC, the cabbies can do what they want. although i rarely talk to them about anything besides the weather and how a local sports team is doing. the worst thing i have ever gotten is horrible jokes.

Just cuz you're paranoid don't mean they're not going to shoot you.

[reddawn.livejournal.com]

Heh, I think Chicago cabbies can't afford not having guns. Then of course, if I take a cab 3 or 4 times it's a heavy cab year for me.

BTW- a couple years ago they did a poll of bus drivers here and found that more than 1 in 10 were carrying guns on the bus. Sweet.

Bus drivers???

[slipkid.livejournal.com]

I would think that they would want to get into a physical confrontation with the passenger so they could injure themselves and go on permanent disability. (fyi, my oldest brother used to be a bus driver so I am just giving them a little harmless grief)

I fail to see...

[queen-beeanna.livejournal.com]

This fabled link between homosexuality & beastiality.

Besides animals dont have rights under the constitution, so the whole fucking point is kind of moot, dont you agree??

[psoup.livejournal.com]

Do you think the cabbie realized that enforcing his views on his passengers could affect what he gets in tips?

My friend Cindy (who was out with us at Zeitgeist) had a dream that my mom and her girlfriend got married at City Hall. She said it was a beautiful ceremony, we cried when they exchanged vows. Sadly, my mom is one of those people who are for Bush's ammendment against gay marriages. If only we could live in our dream worlds....

[obliviot.livejournal.com]

don't want to live in my dream world

[gordonzola.livejournal.com]

scary scary! lots of guns and purple Barneys. oh wait, that's Duke Nuke'em's dream world. Is yours similar?

[obliviot.livejournal.com]

my dream world? let's go freudian. Guns that don't work and ineffectual punches